Baldpastorguy's Stuff...

20 Lessons from My Time in Ministry

2011-08-24T17:07:00.001-04:00

1- Everyone is broken. Everyone. There are 2 types of broken people: those who realize it and those who don't.

2- Broken people cause more brokenness. They demand grace yet give none. They want love and attention yet are quick to condemn and slow to help others. They blame-shift and justify. In other words, they are just like the rest of us. Some will act stronger than they are- and it will keep them from growing. Others will act weak on purpose- because they constantly want something from everyone else at church. Both are forms of sin.

3- Outside of the transforming power of Jesus, broken people stay just as broken. They may seek religion, self-help or other forms of improvement. But these are, at best, self-delusional veneers that only change the outside appearance.

4- I will never meet someone for whom Jesus did not die. Therefore, I need to respect and love them.

5- I will never share Jesus with someone who would be better off if I didn't. However, I should never push Jesus on someone whose heart is too hard to hear it.

6- Tolerance is hypocritical and overrated. Those for whom tolerance is a top value tend to become pretty intolerant and mean-spirited towards the people they deem "intolerant." But it's not tolerant to tolerate only those who are easy to tolerate. And, as a friend says, the value of tolerance aims far too low. How about respect? Admiration? Care and concern? Certainly, all of these are better than tolerance. I tolerate the flu because I have to. I love the sun because it's a blessing. I respect people because they are made in the image of Christ. Therefore, screw tolerance as a value.

7- Jesus was intolerant at times. He claimed exclusivity. "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father but by me." If we could get to Christ any other way, then Jesus died for nothing. Further, if Jesus is God- as he clearly claims to be- then how can I come to God by rejecting God?

8a- Churches can either see believers as customers or family. If they are customers, we cater to them. We try to make them happy. To get their money and keep their business. We chase them down to get them to come back because our goal is to become a bigger, more successful business. This is skubala.

If they are family, we speak hard truth, in love, because we want the best for them. We cater to Jesus. We seek to make Christ happy by helping them become holy. We show concern but chase after no one. Our goal is faithfulness to the call and real discipleship, not outward religious morality and Americanized church success.

8b. Some will leave a church to test our love. Will we call? Will we run after them? We do care, but should we have to prove it? And when we fail them, when we don't, they'll claim to have hurt feelings. This is ridiculous- love isn't a game. And there's usually nothing wrong with their dialing finger- they could have called at any time.

9- All biblical counseling is merely discipleship: formation into the image of Christ. Our goal is NEVER to fix the outward problem, but to look deeper for the image issue. What have they believed that is a lie and keeping them from following Jesus fully? How have the failed to see the truth of the gospel in it's implications for their lives?

10- I can fix no one. Ever. But I can take them to the One who is in the business of forming us into His image.

11- Couples counseling always involves 2 people. Never make a judgment until I've heard both sides.

12- My greatest times of growth will always come from or be centered on fellowship involving the Word of God. Sermons are widely underrated. Some of my most important decisions have come during times of hearing the Word preached and then responding to God's Spirit.

13- Most people serve money. Even if they don't have it. Jesus said serving money and serving Him were mutually exclusive. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say he probably knew what he was talking about.

14- Our sinful natures cause us to worship the created rather than the Creator. For this reason, we cling to forms and miss the function. For instance, we're so concerned about the style of music that we miss the reason for it- worship. We get exercised over dress codes and miss the point- coming to Jesus laid bare inside and with nothing to hide. We get so concerned for the "sanctuary" that we miss our own heresy- there is NO building made with hands that is holy or in which God dwells. We are the sanctuary. How do we treat one another? It means much more than whether or not a kid runs in a building or Christian brings coffee into a particular room. Skubala- all of it.

15. Contemporary, casual-dress Christians (me!) can be just as judgmental towards traditional Christians as the traditional Christians are towards them. Both times, the issue is a prideful and wrong attitude.

16. In churches, there are: not-yet-sheep, sheep, shepherds and wolves. We challenge the not-yet to become sheep. We direct the sheep to greater growth. We pray for and respect the shepherds. We give no room to wolves. Ever. "Reject a divisive man after the first and second warning. Having nothing more to do with him..."

17. Wolves rarely know they are wolves. They are usually self-deceived. But they tend have an easy time bullying people because Christians think they should be "nice" to everyone- including those who would slander, gossip, divide and destroy the church.

18. We can only unify around something greater than our petty viewpoints and preferences. Biblical unity can only occur around Jesus as we each carry a cross and crucify our own desires. Jesus died for the church- it's his. Not ours. No matter how many generations of our family have been at the church.

19. God uses shock-value at times to communicate. The Christian community covers it up. Isaiah walked around naked, his junk swinging in the wind. Paul used the word "shit" as an expletive to describe all his honors and accomplishments apart from Christ. Our best deeds look like used, bloody, clumpy menstrual rags to God. This is Bible, not me. God does it to focus our attention on truth, not to titillate our minds. Ezekiel 23 in the NIV is positively pornographic. God has a reason for it- Ezekiel 23 demonstrates how God views our unfaithfulness.

Why, then, are we so proper and modest in our practice of our religion?

20. I will never feel successful. I'm in ministry. People are broken. They are a work in progress that is never finished this side of glory. They will, at times, attack and hate and slander. And I will want to walk away. This happened with OT prophets, NT Apostles and has been true of Pastors since the church began. However, faithfulness to the call is always going to be the real measure of success.

Familiarity...

2011-01-18T13:04:00.002-05:00

I love food. Yeah, you read that right. Food. I enjoy it, savor it even. When I want pizza, I don't want just any pizza. I want good pizza. With a spicy sauce that has a hint of sweetness to it. Papa Johns, maybe. With a three-cheese blend. Maybe some sauteed onions and green peppers. The garlic butter sauce for dipping my crust. Hmmm...

Oooppsss- got sidetracked. Toldya- I love food. I have a friend who feels the same way. He just completed a 10-day fast. Said it made him appreciate tasting food all the more. Like he'd become so accustomed to the taste of his meals that he'd taken it for granted.

I pastor an incredible church. I seriously feel privileged- like I've been honored with a great gift- to pastor these people. They love one another well. Not with mere words, but in how they treat and care for one another. They focus outward- "how can we help?"- rather than inward "what has the church done for ME lately?"

And this is a poor church. Socio-economically, we are lower-middle class. We barely make our bills and often don't quite get there. Our carpet is 25 years old, stained with memories of coffee, baby bottles and juice. Our outside lights don't work right. Our parking lot is in desperate need of help. Yet...we feed and clothe people through our Mercy Ministries. We welcome addicts and see them become free in Christ. We are full of foster kids and maladjusted youth. And we love and accept them. Even when they're loud in the worship service. And...God is present.

So I make well under what a Pastor of a similarly-sized church with like affiliations in Virginia makes. Especially one in his "highest earning years," according to reports. We struggle. Vacation last year was a Minister's Retreat in an unairconditioned dorm room. We had a great time. But no cruises. No beach trips.

And I can struggle with the desire to give my wife and son more. But...Layman isn't fighting or plotting the overthrow of it's leaders. We are reaching, teaching, going, growing. Because we reach the disadvantaged, most people represent more need rather than additional help financially. But that's OK.

Because I'm called here. To this. With these people. And I LOVE them. I often think of where they sit each week. I see them in my head and I can call to mind names, family relations, prayer requests. And I pray for each. And thank God for the privilege of doing life together with them. No greater honor.

God forbid that familiarity would breed anything other than a greater love for God's people, God's mission, God's call. I'm no martyr. I'd love to be able to make more. To give my son vacations and ski trips. To give my wife a new floor (our carpet is disintegrating...). But I'll give them a contented, called husband and father who loves Jesus and is privileged to serve. Hopefully, that's enough.

Unfrickenbelievable...

2010-12-16T12:09:00.002-05:00

I received an email last week from Cowboy Church. And an attachment concerning worship. Their concept? Using the Jewish Temple as a pattern, take a Gentile (outer court) song and use it first. Upbeat, not very spiritual and possibly secular. Then move slowly into the more worshipful areas. Excellent confirmation on what we'd already felt Biker Church should be doing.

I met with head honcho from Cowboy Church and discussed licensing. Found that we are (and have been) on very safe ground for what we're doing as long as we're in the building in a non-profit teaching environment (Church!). He tells me that when one of his guys visited, he was surprised to hear we were doing contemporary Christian music as our mainstay. He felt we should be rocking the place. This is the guy who has pioneered niche church in Va. So I'm listening to him confirm what I already felt!

So I walk into BCR last night and the crowd is thin. It's cold out and close to Christmas. It's all good- we're upbeat, happy, unified. Several of us go back to pray in a little room. We come out and people are streaming in. Great group- as big as we've been since we started.

I'm at the water fountain in the hallway when I hear it coming from the worship space. The guitars first, then the keyboards and drums. I'm smiling this dumb smile that I can't get off my face. My foot is tapping. "Jeremiah was a bullfrog (Duh Dup Dum), was a good friend of mine (Duh Dup Dum)..." And it's a rocking version. As I walk into the worship area, it transitions smoothly to "Joy to the World, the Lord has Come" and bridges back to Jeremiah. Amazing.

When it's over the crowd is clapping heartily, whistling and screaming "Yeah!" The next is "Angels We Have Heard on High." Again, rocking, yet keeping the same basic tune as the original. Again, applause. Then a very slow and worshipful "Mary Did You Know?"

The comments I got afterward were unbelievable. Our group ate it up. They rocked, worshiped and were drawn closer to Jesus. And I'm grateful. God moved in that place. And through all the chaos and heartache of having friends leave, I feel like God is doing what He desired all along. And that those leadership who left are going to find exactly where God wants to use them. They're good people. And I've loved co-laboring with them and appreciated their faithfulness. It's no loss to Kingdom when God transfers his children from one house to another.

And me? Dude, I can't friggin' wait for next week!

Preaching and Practice...

2010-12-07T23:44:00.003-05:00

For months, I've been preaching about how God never promises a life without pain, suffering, trials. But that we are called to trust him and glorify him through all things. This has been one of several threads running throughout the sermons for quite a while. OK...hold that thought!

Our past affects us. It shouldn't control us, but it does affect us. A woman who has been through severe abuse (I'm thinking of a particular friend right this moment) may be years past it. But a man raising his voice in anger may cause her to crumple into a lump of shaking and tears. I was a spectator, watching it happen. My heart breaking for her. And angry with the man.

Years ago, I pastored a church that was full of anger, bitterness, division and gossip. It took all I had to hold on and not walk away. Minus Jesus' call and strength, I would have left the ministry during that time. I took so many arrows I was holy for an entirely different reason!

I learned a lot and have tried hard to major on unity, love and caring for one another- Eph 4, 1 Cor. 12, etc. We've had a number of years of encouraging, uplifting, unified and loving fellowship. Yet no amount of positive peer pressure and signed church membership covenants and teaching can restrain the flesh when God is not in control.

OK, back to that original thought. You did hold it, right? OK, here goes. Personalities have come into conflict. There's drama and accusations and gossip. Most of it isn't even me, but I'm taking hits and having to confront on issues. None of this is good. None of it glorifies God. And I know that people who leave might badmouth me and the two churches I pastor to others. And that SHOULDN'T bother me. Really. No, I mean it.

Because I have to look in the mirror and make sure I've done what I can to get along with, apologize as necessary, seek peace and look for reconciliation. Having done that, let people talk. I do have to stand before God for every person placed under my care. THAT should be my fear. Nothing else.

But I'm finding that I cringe as I open emails. I want to duck as I go into Facebook. Why should this be? Because...I have Religion-based PTSD. I've been here before. It's ugly and ridiculous and dumb. But I don't get to control anything other than my actions and reactions. And I'm fighting hard not to use food as an escape. (Laugh all you want- it's my drug of choice!). Or to bury myself in movies or computer games. Or to ignore and not be present with my family (this one is tough- my mind is continually preoccupied). Or to justify myself by deciding that others are bad. They aren't. They're just flawed, broken people. Like me!

So my focus is continually being drawn back to Jesus. To the Author, the Finisher of my faith. What I was preaching I'm now living. And I've discovered that my theology hasn't changed. The only thing different is that now I'm understanding it from the other side- as a man feeling the heat of the trial. I can't control the circumstances. But I will submit my responses to Jesus, then trust as He leads. And that, my friend, is more than enough. Bread for today, bro...bread for today.

Chaos and Sovereignty

2010-12-06T00:22:00.002-05:00

So there I was, innocent enough. I had stopped running. I had begun to come to terms with it. I bought a motorcycle (no small feat considering my wife's vehement opposition. Yet I persevered and convinced her...somewhat). I had lain awake at night dreaming of Biker Church. Couldn't get it out of my head. I KNEW it was from God. No doubt.

So I talked to 2 leaders at Layman. They agreed to help launch and lead Biker Church. From the beginning, there was opposition from the Enemy. Just stupid stuff like people who wouldn't attend because someone else was there who had been divorced from one of their friends. Emotional issues hit me every week before the service. Temptations to lust were very strong during these times as well. Clearly the Enemy was working hard to destroy what God wanted to build.

Yet we began to see God's hand very clearly. Couples who were living together repented and got married. People came to Christ and those who had given up on church found a home at Biker Church. We rode together, hung together, enjoyed time fellowshiping. It was...incredible.

Then it began. One of our leaders made some comments an attender took issue with. During a prayer meeting, I felt strongly impressed to say that I believed the Enemy would try to split us up. We agreed to stay humble, focused on Christ and prayerful.

Several weeks later, issues came to the fore in the form of band trouble. Disagreements on style and type of music. A band that had just come off a great time of leading 2 services felt demoralized by band leadership. We could argue if they should have or not. But the point is, they did. I held a meeting with the leadership and band together without going to the leadership first.

That was it. Our leadership left. Oh, I apologized- very quickly and quite profusely. But now I'm the remaining leader. Another guy has threatened to leave over conflicts in the band, but it looks like that is being worked out. And I've brought in a pastoral advisory team so that there's an accountability for me.

In the end, the Enemy won. But...did he? The band sounds incredible. They feel great freedom and have the ability to grow into the role. This is...opportunity. The leaders who left are amazing people. I've had the privilege of working alongside them for quite some time and have been enriched by the experienced. But one guy and his wife had already been thinking of leaving for a church more tied to the denomination he comes from. And that's OK. The other guy is still hanging out occasionally. I'm praying for God to guide him. He's a terrific guy- I'll miss him if he leaves.

But in the midst of chaos, I cling to the Truth: none of this took God by surprise. And none of it is irredeemable by his grace and power. The couple who left probably needed the break. Pastoral leadership may not be the calling of the other guy. His calling is probably more involved with influencing towards Christ and towards involvement in Christ's church. And there's an excitement in the sadness. God is at work.

When God begins to do something mighty, he often changes the playing field to facilitate the change. I'm praying. I'm praising. I'm missing my friends. But I love my faith. And I thank God for giving it to me. The leash on the Enemy only goes as far the Lord allows. And even fleshly behavior can work for God's glory in the long-run as his people repent, pray and seek.

So I'm excited. Jazzed, even. Who knows what God might want to do. Lord help anyone who would try to divide, cause discouragement or spread dissension in God's people. I've read the bible- God hates that stuff. God's at work. I'm on board. Let's see where this train takes us...

2 Churches, 1 Building...

2010-11-23T13:25:00.004-05:00

So in a time in which McChurch is growing by leaps and bounds, I'm part of rebelling and doing the opposite. And I don't feel the least bit bad about it. Don't get me wrong: the McChurch is not a terrible thing. It's just that...what? The McChurch? Oh, sorry!

The McChurch is the franchising of the church of Jesus Christ. So instead of planting and mentoring new churches which have their own identity, big churches are now planting new churches with the same name as the mother church, using live bands but video preaching. They are, in a sense, extending the reach of the mother church via branding and centralized leadership rather than planting entirely new churches.

This isn't wrong or bad. It can reach people with the message of God's love and make disciples. Driscoll in Seattle, Chandler in Texas (and many more) are currently doing McChurch. It's simply a different and legitimate use for technology.

However, I'm cynical, skeptical and rebellious. I just read in 1 Timothy about the church taking care of "true widows" who don't have family to take care of them. I keep finding the scriptures speak of helping the needy right alongside preaching Jesus and making disciples. In Galatians, Paul was commended by the Apostles to to to the Gentiles as a missionary. The only thing they asked was that he "remember the poor." Jesus talks about Sheep and Goats. The difference between the two appears to be how big they grew their church. Nope? Yeah, you caught me! The difference is how they treated people who couldn't help themselves.

And I believe many of these McChurches are helping the needy. I wonder if they ever considered putting up housing adjacent to their buildings for those in need rather than theater seats, neon signs and full-service coffee shops in their churches? But, again, I'm cynical and idealistic and somewhat angry at bible-belt Christianity, not to mention consumer-church Christianity. As though the size of the church determines its' success. Here's a hint: Nofreakinway, dude. (Quick disclaimer- I pastor small churches. I'm not jealous nor am I upset about it- it's a privilege to speak God's Word and I LOVE our people).

So...to the original point- I want our building to be used as much as possible. So when it came time to plant Biker Church, we used the Layman building. We just met on an alternate day and time. Rather that "one church, many locations," we became "two churches, one location." And I'm open to a third church or more using the same space. Maybe a Hispanic church plant? Or Bosnian? Roanoke has a fairly large transplanted Bosnian contingent. Hmmm...

And we use it as a center for our distribution of food and clothing to people in need. We give bread items, frozen food, all manner of clothing to those who can use it. Through our Mercy Ministries person, we also house people.

We're small. We don't seem to attract rich donors. We haven't franchised the Layman name and have no plans to make much of our name. But, God help us, we're gonna make much of Jesus. To people Layman can reach. To people Biker Church can reach. To people in need, serving in the name of Christ.

Layman will patch them up and watch many of them go their way. That's OK- our little church baptized more than 20 last year. Quite a few have moved out of state or had circumstances take them away from us. Because that's the nature of many of the people we reach. But we had the privilege of bringing them to faith and beginning to disciple them. We fed and clothed and housed many. And we're good with that.

Praise God for churches large and small who serve Jesus and the people he created- all to his glory.

Yesterday...

2010-05-30T07:57:00.002-04:00

I'm having a couple of weeks of severe insomnia, so my energy levels are a bit...low. We went to Festival in the Park yesterday. Not much happening there. I remember it being so much bigger and better about 10-15 years ago. Left there and headed to the mall to see a movie. Had a little more than an hour to kill, so we walked the mall for a bit. Then saw "Prince of Persia." It was OK. Came home, cut the yard, folding Worship Programs for church and watched the rest of "They Live" that I had recorded a while back.

Just a normal day. Not much sleep again last night, so preaching today should be a challenge. I don't use notes, so either I got this thing or I don't. God will come through and it will all work out, though.

4.5 months later...

2010-04-08T23:36:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I used to love running. Esp. on trails. But even on streets and greenways, I'd run and think, "I was made for this! My body- even my soul- loves this!" Then, the IT Band and ensuing knee problems brought it all to a screeching halt. I haven't run at all for quite a while. Haven't biked hardly at all either. My aerobic ability must be darn near nill.

So...I bought a motorcycle. I love being out and feeling the breeze, the sun, nature. It restores me. Yeah, I miss running. Listening to podcasts of Driscoll and Chandler. I miss the feeling of accomplishment after pushing myself to go further, do more. The fitness, the relaxation, the meditation of the rhythmic pat of my feet on the trail.

But I can do one of two things: I can become bitter and regretful and backward-focused. Or I can press on and do what I committed to 27 years ago- enjoy every age for what it has to offer. So...motorcycle. Or at least, more time not running so more time for family and work. And I love my work, so it's not like it's drudgery- I want more time for it.

I can ride the bike to counseling appointments, events, coffee shops (my 2nd office!). Hopefully, I'll be safe and other vehicles will see fit to not kill me. (Like that young teen texting while driving or that really older person having trouble seeing the road!).

I don't know if I'll run again. Right now, I'm not entirely hopeful. But grieving the loss of running seems somewhat silly considering that it's not an eternal pursuit anyway. God is. Love is. Praise is. Helping others in Christ's name is. Building believers who love God and eschew the Bible-belt mentality is. I'll focus on the important and let the temporal roll by. If I can run again, great. If I can't, great. Blessed be the Name.

The Knee...

2010-01-16T20:33:00.002-05:00

So I was training for the Blue Ridge Parkway Marathon. OK, I'd decided I might step down to the half-marathon. And I was doing well. Running 13 mile long-runs every Friday. Running up Mill Mountain and out the spur to the Parkway and back every Monday. Running throughout the week.

And I was feeling a bit of pain in the knees. I wasn't sure what was up. One Thursday, I decided to run down 460 from Bonsack towards Bedford. The road was highly cambered and I couldn't run the level surface no matter how I tried. But I only ran 5.5 miles. Nothing major. Ran fast, pushed it a bit.

The next day, I did my long run loop from Best Buy greenway to downtown to RMH to the Water Treatment Plant in Southeast, through neighborhoods, down Williamson and finally back to Best Buy. 13 miles. Felt my left knee hurting throughout. But I stopped, stretched regularly and tried to run easy and slow. Listened to the Matt Chandler podcast in my ears and made it through.

Took the next 3 days off, feeling great. Then, on black Tuesday, that fateful day, a day of deep pain and regret, that will live forever burned in my mind as... OK, OK, let's just say it sucked, alright? I hit Explore Park to run 6 or 7 miles, but only made it 3.5 or so. I was in great pain in my (wait for it!)...left knee!

Next day, thought I'd try an easy downtown run from Planet Fitness. Didn't even make it a mile. Limped back to the gym.

Found out after time off, anti-inflams and pain that stayed with me throughout the day and even hurt while walking, that I had IT Band troubles. So now, I'm down to 10 miles per week (instead of 30) and having to baby my leg. Not sure I'll make the BRP Half Marathon now.

But...I have found a substitute activity for running: I eat. I've gained 8 pounds or so. Crap! Gotta either get back to running more, cycling more (also imperiled by IT Band troubles!) or join a gym with a pool.

Reading Ecclesiastes hasn't helped: "Go then, eat your bread in happiness and drink your wine with a cheerful heart; for God has already approved your works" (9:7). "So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun" (8:15). Yeah, like I need to hear about how good it is to eat! :-)

The Quick Stats...

2009-11-20T23:35:00.001-05:00

www.LaymanChurch.com

Layman Church
Not Organized Religion...Just Real Church for Real People

11 AM Sundays
Jeans and T's
5207 Old Mountain Road
Roanoke, 24019

I Love the Fall...

2009-11-18T10:45:00.002-05:00

Crisp weather, leaves gliding to the ground in splashes of orange and yellow and red. Clear days make it feel like you could see forever. I LOVE fall weather!

Went out for a run at night last week. Left my gym bag at Planet Fitness and headed out the door. Took a right and slowly padded over the bridge to Franklin Road. The cool air coupled with low humidity had me feeling great. It wasn't long before the joints were warmed-up and the run became somewhat effortless. I took the greenway towards Wasena only to find out that bridge work meant I'd have to u-turn and take another route. Passed 3 girls running together in the opposite direction. Wish they'd told me about the bridge.

No problem- Chandler was preaching in my head and all was good. Greenway to RMH, then S. Jefferson over the bridge to downtown. Ran all over downtown and the neighborhoods nearby. Some of the sidewalks were filled with leaves and I could hear them crunching even as I listened to the podcast.

It was dark and my mind wandered to my family life- my wife and son. How relationships are what we make them. They don't just happen. That my wife's love for me is cultivated by the amount of time I put into the relationship. And not just time, but actual attention, caring, sharing and interpreting actions.

OOPPSS- gotta translate that. Basic principle of scripture: actions are not self-interpreting. Jesus washed the disciples' feet. But he didn't stop there. He said, "Do you know what I've done for you? Do you understand what this means? How this is now supposed to play out in your lives? In humility. In understanding the need for daily forgiveness of sins. In serving others rather than being served. I am your Lord, yet I washed your feet without thought of position or power. Now- go and do likewise."

Jesus translated his actions so they could be understood. I've learned that I need to translate my actions so that my wife knows the motive and meaning behind them. As I take her to Red Lobster- which is not my favorite restaurant by a long-shot, something she knows- I let her know that I love her and would be glad to take her there because she loves it. I don't moan or complain about it. I simply enjoy it with her because she does. And I let her know that my love for her makes it enjoyable for me. That it's my joy to serve her that way instead of insisting on my choices and desires for dinner.

I do the same with my son. I let him know that I'm serving him. Not self-centeredly pointing to myself as a martyr or a suffering servant. But telling him that I love to make him happy and that I'll always do what's in his best interest. And he's learned that he can trust me- even when he initially disagrees.

For instance, I rented "GI Joe" for a family movie night. I'd already seen it, but my son had not and I knew he'd like it. He didn't want to watch it. I told him I wanted him to and pushed a bit. It would have been easier to let him hang out in his room and my wife and I could watch something else. But I made him sit and watch the first few minutes. That's all it took- he loved it and watched the whole thing with us. Then I told him why I'd made him watch it: I wanted family time. And we had a great time talking about it and watching it together. And I told him I knew he'd love it and that it would have been easier to just watch something else with his mother if he didn't want to see GI Joe, but that I loved him enough to ask him to trust me because I knew he'd like it.

Actions aren't self-interpreting. The line to walk, though, is this: I can't do things for others begrudgingly. I can't serve and then complain or sulk because I didn't get my way. But I also can't point to myself as some great suffering servant. Rather, I have to enjoy the simple act of serving as I interpret it for my family- or my church. And I can only do this as I walk in Jesus. He's the ultimate servant and anything I could do pales by comparison. I learn from him, take joy in serving and watch relationships blossom.

I took the Franklin Bridge back towards Towers and the gym. I saw the 3 girls again. I'd seen them downtown. I envied their friendship and ability to run together. At this stage in my life, I have few running buddies-or buddies at all, for that matter- and don't have the time or opportunities to cultivate them. My wife is not real relational, so couples hang-out time won't happen much. And my job means that people who attend Layman will always be ones I care for than anything else. The back-and-forth of friendship will almost always be tilted towards my caring for them over anything else. So I'm a bit lonely. So are most pastors.

But I'm blessed. I love my wife and son. No one else comes close to my love for them- nor should they. And my job is amazing, wearying, full of the joy and lots of pain. And...I love it! Wouldn't go anywhere else. I spent last year turning down offers. Layman is amazing- we don't have to go elsewhere to minister. Our ministry is always frontline. The Childhood Sexual Abuse Redemption group. The Addiction help. The guys in jail who are part of Layman but haven't yet learned to follow Jesus well. The man who got drunk, took a bunch of Ambien and went for a joyride with his wife at home, scared to death. The girl who stuck a knife in her chest, trying to end her life. Those are our people. They are welcomed, loved and...we refuse to let them walk alone. We promised them more and we're gonna do our best, in Christ, to walk alongside them. Bringing Jesus' healing and hope.

I finished filling up on Chandler as my legs slowed to a walk and I hit the button on my watch, ending the run. I entered the gym refreshed and centered, ready for dinner with the family followed by a night of group ministry.

The fall weather made the run effortless. The night put me in a perfectly reflective frame of mind. And running- well, that's my Prozac!

Unhidden Treasure and Blindness...

2009-08-17T23:44:00.002-04:00

My stomach bothers me. Mainly just acid reflux. I take antacids. But it can be bad. Especially when out running.

Friday, I forgot to take something for my stomach before running. While I was out on the mountain, the reflux became painful. I remember saying to no one in particular (as I was alone), "It burns...my precioussssss."

When I returned to the car after much pain and lots of problems, I happened to open a compartment in which I store CD's. There, in the corner, was a tin of antacids. I had what I needed the whole time. And- here's the kicker- I had even been in that compartment above the glovebox just before the run.

The can was sitting there and I just didn't happen to see it.

This has happened to me over and over again. I'll need something and think, "Oh man! I wish I had that with me right now." Then I'll do without. Only to find out later that it was there the whole time!

For instance, I went into a restaurant in Texas once. They only take cash. And I'd been jonesing for their tacos. I reached into my pocket and realized I had no cash on me. So I drove next door to Whataburger and bought something else. I REALLY wanted the tacos. After my Whataburger meal, I got in the car and realized I had $30 stashed in there for emergencies.

I could have eated the best tacos in the world! But I settled...for Whataburger?!? That totally bites.

Walked a bike home once because I didn't think I had the stuff to fix a flat. Only to find, to my chagrin, that I had it in my backpack the whole time.

This type of thing has happened so many times in my life. Then I realized...there are times that I face struggle, temptation, the desire to sink into self-pity or take on problems alone. And I think that's all I have- just me white-knuckling it through. Holding on to my strength. My ability. My willpower.

And I fall. I screw-up or become prideful or self-centered. And the whole time, I had what I needed:

His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness- 2 Peter 1:3.

I have it in Christ. In the Holy Spirit. In the indwelling power of God through the new man. I have all that I need for life and godlines. Through the vehicle of my knowledge of God and my willingness to bring glory to him in all things.

I have it in his people. Who surround, love and pray for me. Encourage me.

I have it in worship, connected with God. Doing what I was created for: praising his name.

I have it in prayer. Asking and receiving according to God's perfect will.

I have it in the scripture. It searches my heart as I search it. It reads me, strengthens me, obliterates my pride and self-centeredness. It mocks my self-pity. And it's altogether good.

I'm blind. Way too often. I'm an idiot, really. I have it all, then complain about what I need.

I'm like a man who would run for President, knowing the condition of the country. Then complain about what he's inherited (both Reagan and Obama. Just so you know- I don't need to play favorites politically. I can distrust both parties equally!).

I have it. I have it in Christ. I am blessed. I am ill-deserving and gifted with so much.

Gotta open my eyes and realize the power, the love, the truth that God has made available to me through his grace. Time for a treasure hunt!

Addicts, CSA's, Vow-Breakers and Church...

2009-08-16T23:17:00.002-04:00

So I don't pastor a normal church. Not in any sense of the word. We have attenders who continually fall back to alcohol addiction, heroin and crack. We have methadone-clinic folks and prescription drug abusers. Our folks sell blood plasma for money. And they show up at church wearing wife-beater shirts with "F*&#" tattooed down one arm and "You" down the other.

Additionally, we have a goodly number of folks who are working through CSA- Childhood Sexual Abuse. Both men and women, young (teenage) and old. None of them are working with kids, just in case you are worried. But they attend Layman.

And then there are the Vow-Breakers. I'm not talking about those who have been through divorce- that can happen to anyone and is very painful. But about those who are married and yet see no reason to continue in the vow. And they come to me for permission, absolution, advice that- truth be told- is just gonna piss them off.

I don't smile and sanction divorce. I believe God meant it when he said he hated it. I don't even flinch as I type this out. Divorce is not an option. If they guy is beating his wife or controlling her every move, she needs to get out to force major life change in him. Regardless. If she's leaving 2 year-olds at home while she seeks another high, he's gotta take them out. But the goal is almost always individual transformation and then reconciliation after a protracted period of separation.

I've witnessed miracles of faith as spouses who were cheated on were able to forgive, their husbands or wives repented and they are now together, happy, living new lives together in covenant marriage. And I've watched foolish people think they needed freedom and tear apart the hearts of wives, husbands, children. All for the lie of happiness that never comes. But the ones that make it...it's just so good.

The addicts keep seeing Jesus change them. As they follow Jesus, they get free. Over and over again. Sometimes they stumble a bit. But when they amputate the things which cause them to fall- friends who worship drugs, for instance- and place their faith in Jesus, miracles happen. Alcoholics learn that although having a beer isn't wrong, for them it is. It's their kryptonite- they can't stop at one. Drug abusers learn to cope without the anesthetizing haze of the high. They get changed.

The CSA victims are different. They're less able to talk about their pasts. More prone to shame and feeling like they can't be loved. And- truth be told- I want to beat the BLEEP out of the people who hurt them. But I'm hoping to start a support group for them soon. One that will meet without advertisement. A women's group for women and a men's group for men. So they can process and heal in Christ. And move towards healthy attitudes instead of the guilt and shame that, oddly enough, mirrors the very same things that religion produces. Jesus doesn't. But religion does.

So that's a snapshot of the church. And yeah- we have some "normal" people, too. But that just means I don't know their junk yet. Because none of us are unscarred by the world around us. And none of us can say we've never contributed to our own scars. But Jesus...he's not looking at addicts. Or CSA victims. Or vow-breakers. He's looking a people created for more. Created in his image, no matter how marred that image may be. And he knows they need him. And he meets with them through many people and places. And Layman is one of those places. And I'm just grateful to be a part of what God is doing...

What If? (and why most Christian authors suck...)

2009-07-28T20:42:00.009-04:00

I was just looking at a CBD catalog of books. Andy Stanley has a book called "The Principle Path."

Here's an excerpt: Where you want to go in life and the path you choose to get there don't always agree---despite good intentions. Teaching that our direction determines our destination, Stanley offers a story-driven, Bible-based road map to help you avoid unnecessary disappointments and attain your goals for your marriage, career, finances, and more. Includes interactive study guide. 224 pages, hardcover from Nelson.

John Maxwell has a new one coming out entitled "Put Your Dream to the Test."

Again, an excerpt: When initially conceived, our visions are often little more than vague hopes. Maxwell shows you how to transform ambiguous dreams into purposeful action plans! Let his 10 field-tested questions equip you with practical and powerful direction, inspire you to act with confidence, and guide you in creating clear and compelling pathways to achieving your goals.

I could go all Joel Osteen on you, but that guy's a total...nevermind. Here's the point- book after book after book instructs today's Christian in methods to achieve what they want. They decide what they want in career, money, marriage, life. And the books tell them how to do it- using scripture as a guide.

Ummm...here's a question: "What if...what God wants is not what you want?" "What if...God wants you to fail spectacularly? For his glory?"

Jesus, at the height of his popularity, proceeds to get rid of a crowd that's at least 30,000 strong. He loses them all! On purpose! Then he clears out a synagogue and makes the Jewish leaders fighting mad. On a roll, he loses most of his disciples as well. On purpose.

He refuses to feed the crowd bread on one day when he did the day before. Why? It wasn't hard for him to do. I mean, he's God in the flesh, for Chris...well, for someone's sake.

Jesus says, in John 6, "Oh, does this offend you? That you have to eat my flesh and drink my blood instead of being fed bread and fish. Too much for ya? Then what will you do when you see me ascend to heaven? You ain't seen nothing yet!"

And they...leave. Christ dies a year later as a single, penniless (treasurer took the money!), homeless, unemployed ex-construction worker who is less popular than a murderer (Barrabas). Wrap your brain around that one.

"Oh," you say, "but he came back!" "Yes," I reply. "That's resurrection. We don't get that till we die first."

Jesus, according to the standards of the time, failed spectacularly. For God's glory and our salvation.

"But that's Jesus. That's not us. This is post-cross. Just believe in faith and..." Hold on there, Sunshine.

Paul was beaten, stoned, often-hungry and often-escaping the death plots of both Gentiles and his fellow Jews. He was imprisoned and even the church deserted him. That includes people he'd won to Jesus and was defending before the authorities (2 Timothy 4:16). Pastors- think you're having a bad day???

He was under house arrest and chained to a Roman soldier 24/7. Couldn't even get rid of "dung" without someone present...

He was finally beheaded as a penniless ex-Jewish official under Nero's persecution. He died a jailbird pauper's death.

But...he took his faith to Rome. He changed history. He used his time in prison having pity parties. No, that's not right. He used it to reach, teach, write and pray. God help those Roman soldiers chained to that preacher! 24/7 Jesus! Through Paul, Martin Luther came to faith and unwittingly began the Reformation and Protestantism. Paul failed...spectacularly!

Peter failed over and over again. He was so mouthy even God the Father had to tell him to "zip it!" (Matthew 17 and Luke 9). He had the faith to get out of the boat, but not to continue walking. He was called "Satan" by Jesus right after a proud moment of anomalous brilliance (Matthew 16, Mark 8). He tried to cut off a soldier's ear, then ran for his life naked. He denied Christ after being warned that he'd do it and arguing the point. And tried to go back to fishing before he was restored by Jesus.

Peter was rebuked by Paul openly and, might I add, harshly! He was crucified upside down as a man who failed throughout his life. Peter's years serve as a case study in bi-polar spiritualism. In other words, the boy was nuts. He failed spectacularly over and over again!

But through his life, we identify with him in our own failures. Our own cases of missing faith and stupid remarks and outright religious hypocrisy. And we learn more about Jesus by watching Christ's stern love both rebuke and comfort a failing disciple. We read end-times theology and perseverance from his letters. (Peter, by the way, was the Bible's most explicit believer in Global Warming!) Had Peter not failed so many times, I'd wonder if I could even be called "Christian."

Hosea married a whore. Loved her, was faithful, fruitful, a husband. She was wooed and won by his love. Then she left and sold herself into prostitution. And...he went back for her! What a loser! On his gravestone it says, "Here lies a chump!" But he never gave up. And through him, we learn of God's unfailing love even when we whore around with other gods. (Quit adjusting your halo. Can you say, "materialism?" "Greed?" "Status and ego?" "Religious righteousness?" And so, so many more. False gods, the whole lot!).

I have friends much like Hosea. Those men and women are heroes to me. They aren't known on earth, but they will be known in heaven.

Andy Stanley is probably a good guy. John Maxwell? Good people, I say. But they've been Americanized in their faith and are now adding to the problem as they add money and followers to their names. Since when is money, status, career or any other cultural accomplishment the biblical standard for success?

Last time I checked, only one thing counted: faithfulness. Through falls, failures, screw-ups and human sin. It's not how many times you fall. It's how many times you get back up and walk with Jesus. It's not what others think of you. It's what God sees in you as you continue on the path by his grace, empowered by his Spirit. Did you catch that? Even the power to continue in faith comes from his Spirit, not your rugged individualism!

How many of us are charting a path to our dreams and ignoring God's call? No one sets out to fail. But not nearly enough of us set out to be faithful. And that...sucks. If I do fail, I want it to be...spectacular!

Quick provisos:
- This isn't an excuse for a mediocre life or a lack of work ethic. There are no excuses for that.
- Moral failure cannot be excused nor diminished in magnitude and certainly not celebrated.
- There's nothing wrong with having success as culturally-defined- as long as that's not the goal nor the Christian standard for measuring success.
- Faith was never meant to be a business. If people spent as much time in the scriptures as they did reading books supposedly based on the scriptures...well, one can only dream such a spectacular dream.
- I Pastor a very small church. I'm good with it. Numbers aren't a goal. But I wouldn't kick increased discipleship and attendance out of the room.
- Yes, naysayer, the church in Acts was a megachurch from the git. But...read Corinthians (either one). And all the other letters. The racism of Acts and the rejection of grace in Galatians. Mega means "big," not necessarily good. Small means "not big," but not necessarily good or faithful. Size, it appears, doesn't matter as much as we thought!

Gratuitus Layman Info...

2009-07-25T21:08:00.001-04:00

Gratuitous info to follow:

The church website is: www.LaymanChurch.com

- Casual Dress (Jeans and T's-even for the pastor)

- Coffee- bring it in with you to the service

- Contemporary Band (yes: drums, guitars, keyboard, etc.)

- Nursery and Children's Church during the worship service

- 11 AM Sundays

- 5207 Old Mountain Road, Roanoke

- Not really denominational these days- just into following Christ

Need more info? Just leave a comment on the blog with an email address or use the form at the church website.

Randomness...

2009-07-21T01:03:00.002-04:00

OK, so I woke up this morning and now it's 1 AM. Where did the day go? Like, a moment ago I was deciding to ride to the gym, run, ride back. Then I realized I'm tired and typing on a blog. Seriously, the day is gone in a heartbeat. And I traded it in for some alone/recharge time and some time with friends.

What I got
- time with God and with podcasts.
- workout
- time with friends
- some Facebook time

What I missed
- time with my wife and son (did Madlibs in the car with them, but that's about it)
- resting on the couch, chillin'
- strategizing and planning for a busy week
- the easy slowness of a day of "downtime"

Every day is an opportunity. To serve. To love. To grow, encourage, trust, believe, become, help others become. To redeem, trade-in something that has no value in and of itself (minutes and hours) for something of great value- changed lives, Christ's glory, encouraged hearts, closer relationships.

Today, I recharged. Tomorrow, I take that into the world. What I do with it will be the indicator of whether or not I redeemed my time wisely today.

I need to counsel, teach, meet with, help my dad, update the church website, make a number of calls and arrange a trip. That's all tomorrow (technically today). I'll get calls where people want to meet last-minute. I don't know if I can. Really, if I should. Maybe it's good to support people and maybe sometimes they need to know they don't need me at all.

I'm a pastor. My goal is to serve according to their needs, not their wants. To serve Jesus by loving people well. To glorify Christ with my life. It's the saying, "no" that's tough for me.

OK, enough randomness. Marriages have been saved recently. Addicts have become sober. Destructive behaviors re-routed into constructive and helpful patterns of behavior. I'm incredibly blessed to do what I do.

Peace!

Don't Experience God...

2009-07-18T10:53:00.001-04:00

From Joe Thorn's blog:

Last night I finally started reading Paul E. Miller’s A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World. After finishing chapter 2 I put the book down and realized that something Miller just said to me was going to change things. Here’s the paragraph.

“…don’t hunt for a feeling in prayer. Deep in our psyches we want an experience with God or an experience in prayer. Once we make that our quest, we lose God. You don’t experience God; you get to know him. You submit to him, you enjoy him. He is, after all, a person.
(pg, 21)

I’m not sure that I hunt for a feeling in prayer, but the thought that I shouldn’t seek to experience God, but experience life with God is the kind of precise exhortation I need. God isn’t a feeling, but a person I was made to know. It’s like with my wife, Jen. I don’t set out to experience her, I seek to know her more fully and experience life with her.

He also likens prayer to a family meal – a beautiful picture I can appreciate. As he unpacks this idea he points out that we often think of prayer solely in terms of the words we are using. We so focus on the conversation that we miss out on the person with whom we are talking. At his family meals (what he considers his family’s “best times”) no one is working on the conversation – it flows out of their love for one another. Miller says,

Oddly enough, many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God. Making prayer the center is like making conversation the center of a family mealtime. In prayer, focusing on the conversatin is like trying to drive while looking at the windshield instead of through it. It freezes us, making us unsure of where to go.
(pg. 20)

Centered...

2009-05-31T17:03:00.002-04:00

Self-centered and self-involved vs. others-centered and God-centered. Self-centeredness leads to credit and excuses. When things go well, the self-centered dude takes the credit. "Well, I planned well and worked hard and..." When they go poorly, it becomes about the excuses. "If I could just catch a break..." "Getting a job there is about who you know...I'm more qualified than everyone else. They just won't let me have the job..."

Others-centered and God-centered means giving God his due when things go well. It means understanding that even our gifts, talents and abilities come from him- though we may hone them and grow in them. It means that failures become opportunities to take responsibility and learn from them instead of excusing them and repeating them over and over.

I just heard about another local pastor trying his best to take someone from a home church to grow his particular church. God, I'm so tired of this crap. I got no respect for that nonsense. NOWHERE in the Bible does it say the ultimate goal is to become entrepreneurial and grow big. The goal is to help people follow Jesus (discipleship) so they can reach others who want to know this amazing Christ we follow. It's an issue of centeredness.

God-centered leaders aren't in competition with anyone. They simply want to serve God and his people. "Sheep-stealing" is an indication that the heart is not right. That something has gone terribly wrong. That cultural values have taken precedence over God's values.

Layman may never become a big church. I'm pretty OK with that. I'm def. not jealous of big churches. I'm a co-worker in the faith, regardless. But I do want us to do all things with integrity and love. If we can do that, trusting God all the while, we're successful. Regardless....

OK, vent-mode }OFF{

Sabbathing...

2009-04-25T11:44:00.002-04:00

My voicemail this week said that I was "sabbathing" with my family. At first glance, it might appear that I'm simply trying to spiritualize my vacation.

After all, I was in Orlando. I mean, c'mon, it's the friggin' capital of tourism and theme parks. And we stayed 5 nights at the Nickolodean hotel in a Jimmy Neutron=themed room.

We enjoyed Universal and Universal's Islands of Adventure. We went to Aquatica and Sea World. We spent time in the arcade at our hotel's mall. We saw 4-D mini movies. And I'm saying I'm "sabbathing?" Crazy, no?

I DID sabbath. It was incredible. I read from life-changing scriptures. I prayed. I read "Edge of Eternity" by Randy Alcorn. (Amazing book!). I asked God to protect my heart and keep me pure as I walked through parks and pools in which women were dressed in provocative ways.

I kept my phone off so as to disallow the busyness of work and the weight of ministry to lay heavy on my time with my family and my God. And...sad to say, it usually does when I'm on vacation. People call. Well-meaning.

But they want me to know about this or that. As if I'm the one who can solve the problem. I know the One who can. But I'm not him. And I trust our leadership to deal with issues. So I turned the phone on once or twice a day to see if anyone just HAD to leave a message- even after hearing that I was sabbathing and unavailable.

A woman at the hotel lost a young child. The hotel was dealing with it, so we took time as a family to pray. My son got upset at my wife, so I took the time to explain the theology of sin against one another and how sin always demands a sacrifice- even sin against one another. And how Christ paid for all our sin, so we can nail to the cross what other people do to us. He forgave and realized he wasn't justified in his anger to begin with.

I was sick all week (and for almost 2 weeks before). It got bad on Wednesday afternoon. The sinus infection caused my left eye area to swell. I was in pain. But God was good. We had a great vacation anyway. And I- without all the distractions of life and full-time ministry-was able to appreciate my God and my family. And grow closer to both.

I don't want any more vacations. I want Sabbaths. I've tasted the good stuff. Sabbaths- time apart from so as to draw near to- rock!

Florida...

2009-04-24T11:43:00.002-04:00

Just got back from Orlando. Had a week of vacation. I've been sick for several weeks now, but it turned into a bad sinus infection on Wednesday. Put me right down in the bed with half my face swollen and hurting. I'll be seeing the doc today!

Learned some things... Like, for instance, when it comes to taxes, it's never enough for the government. I kept rolling up to tolls that said ".50" and then, a little further down said ".75" and then actually become "1.00". I spend 4 bucks just getting from the airport to my hotel! Those guys are nuts- the roads certainly weren't any better than they are around here...

I learned that the desire for money without the guiding force of morality always ruins the endeavor. Universal and Sea World have versions of a "Fast Pass" you can buy for mega-bucks that allows you to skip lines. So...we waited and waited while the privileged few rode coasters and rides over and over again. Once, the ride operator didn't even make them get off the coaster and walk back around, so my wife, my son and I just stood there waiting and waiting to ride.

I learned that vacations are better with a looser schedule. We spend all day Friday and Saturday at the 2 Universal parks. We were spent. My 45-yr-old body doesn't handle that well. Not anymore. We spent all day Sunday at Aquatica (water park). But...towards the end of the week, we got smart. We did half-days at the parks and half-days at the hotel.

And I was reminded that I care much more about the time with family than where it's spent. We had a great time and got jaw-dropping deals on everything we did, but nonetheless, my best times were just being with my wife and son.

Oh- and God was so gracious to me. I read scripture and it was living and real. I asked the Lord for help with "every man's struggle" and found it almost embarrassingly easy to keep my mind pure. I hate living in a society that objectifies women and I hate that my past has been so heavily influenced by it. But I rejoice that God is continually working on me to daily overcome that struggle.

And really, being head-over-heels in love with my wife doesn't hurt...

Peace!

Easter's Aftermath...

2009-04-15T11:18:00.003-04:00

Friday

Six Hours on a Friday Afternoon...blood dripped freely...

Saturday

The tomb...death...despair...disciples disillusioned...was it all just a lie?

Sunday, Pt. 1

Could it be? The women are breathless with astonishment! Peter and John go running. Flat-out sprinting in the cool of the morning, anticipation mixed with trepidation. What if??? What if... What would it mean for now? After all that has transpired. Peter's hands sweat. His stomach is in knots. What would it mean for the rest of their lives?

Sunday, Pt. 2

He IS alive. But Peter...Peter failed. He denied even knowing Jesus. And Christ saw him in that moment of failure. Locked eyes with him. Jesus knows. Jesus is alive, but Peter is a failure and it's over for him. Ashamed, shoulders forward, crestfallen, he lumbers away from the tomb. Time to go back to fishing...

Soon Thereafter..., Pt. 1

He's alive. But not for Peter. There's no joy. The days were a grand dream with a horrible ending. It's time to go back. The smell of the salt air, the familiarity of the task, the rhythmic rocking of the boat. Home. Yet, no longer enough. Who's that on the shore?

Soon Thereafter, Pt. 2

Jesus? On the shore? Could it be? Caution to the wind, protocol forgotten, Peter shed his tunic and dived headfirst into the salty cold. No walking this time. Not even an attempt. Just a headlong burst of unrestrained hope into the icy murky flow.

Part 3

A morning breakfast of fish and bread, a warm fire, awkward small-talk. The elephant is still in the room. Then he just ups and asks- "You love me?" Heart sinks, pulse quickens, eyes averted. Defensive, wishing to hide the shame. "Of course I have affection for you!" "Then start serving me again. Quit hiding. Feed those who are mine." It's a rebuke, but a gentle one. It's...restoration...

Part 4

The warmth of the fire on Peter's face turned to hot shame. Jesus kept asking that question. Finally, the third time, "Do you at least have affection for me?" Exasperated, Peter's voice rose. "Lord, you know all things. You know I have affection for you!" "Then get your eyes off your failure, Peter. Serve me well by serving those who are mine." And with that, it was over. A weight was lifted. Peter was...free...

St...st...st...stutterrr...ing...

2009-03-11T11:00:00.003-04:00

He was totally unqualified for the job. In every way.

He was compromised- he'd grown-up in a royal household as an adopted son, yet betrayed the very people he was supposed to now confront with God's message.
He'd already tried and been rejected by the people he was now being sent to save
He was a murderer and an outlaw
He was supposed to be God's spokesman, but he had a stuttering problem
He was supposed to lead people to freedom, yet he was living in exile, enslaved by his past and keenly aware of his own inadequacies

So, naturally, God picked him to be a prophet, a spokesman, a mouthpiece who would go before Pharaoh, the ruler of the most powerful nation on the earth- Egypt- and give the message that God wanted his people set free from slavery.

Moses demurred. "But I stttt...stt...stt..sttutttter, Lord! I am ssssslow of ssspeech and tttt-tt-ttongue."

It was like he was telling God something God didn't already know. Can't you just imagine God slapping his forehead in amazement and saying, "Thank you so much! I didn't realize you had a speech impediment! Wow, we really dodged a bullet there. I'll go find someone else and you go back to being shepherd."

God answered, instead, "Yo- who do you think made you?? Yeah, I know you have speech problems. That's the point! You're gonna do what you could never do on your own. And through that, you will know me and my power in a way you'd never have known me otherwise. And everyone who hears you will understand- sooner or later- what a great God you serve."

I wish the narrative ended there and we saw God use Moses in all Moses' weaknesses. Because following God always demands faith. It's never comfortable. But, that's kinda the point.

Spiritual comfort is akin to laying on the couch every night eating bags of greasy potato chips and then hoping to live a long life and be healthy and fit. We grow as we trust, pray, exercise faith. As we seek and find.

I talked to a guy yesterday who's a skeptic. I kept smiling because I'M a skeptic! And my skepticism led me away from my new-agey beliefs in "universal consciousness" and so many other things. And the only reason I'm a Christian is that I've questioned every aspect of it. No laziness there- I've checked this thing out. I reject much of the TV preachers. The slain in the Spirit/"gimme money and God will make you rich" garbage. I reject holier-than-thou attitudes. But I follow Jesus hard. With all my heart. Because I've checked him out and he checks out well.

Again, I wish the narrative ended there. But Moses couldn't quite bring himself to trust God. Instead, he argued for his own limitations and they became his. Moses said, "Please, Lord- just send some other sucker."

God answered back, "I sending your brother Aaron to you. He'll help you speak."

And Moses, not fully trusting God, talking himself out of blessing and into trouble. Once the Israelites had left Egypt, Aaron made false gods of gold for the people to worship while Moses was away.

Here are my thoughts:

I refuse to be spiritual lazy while expecting to be spiritually healthy.
I will seek God. I will be skeptical but willing to ask questions and really seek
I won't argue for my limitations, nor will I allow those areas of weakness to keep me from being usable by a God who knows the limitations better that I do
I won't allow my past to control my present. Even when I've had times of messing everything up and I've been a total failure. God is bigger than my past and stronger than my failures
Humility will be my companion as I seek to point the way and allow God to live large through my life
Everyone is broken, flawed, sinful. No exceptions. God is the beginning of the healing. Those who refuse to allow God to do his work in their lives are arguing for their own limitations. I'll love them anyway, but continue to point towards God for healing, hope, life
Finally, I'll praise God for the areas of weakness and limitation. Because they force me to trust him. And that's that point

Watchmen...

2009-03-09T23:18:00.002-04:00

So I decided to see a movie on my only day off. Watchmen. Read a bit about the premise before going. Heard it was violent. Little did I know... I have no problem with guns and fights and shoot'em ups. But this...well, this was just ridiculous. A little girl had been taken and chopped up by a guy who fed her to his dogs. We see the leg being eaten, shoe still on it. Grisly, bone and flesh. Too much.

Overall premise is this: humankind is fatally flawed and bent on self-destruction.

Overall thesis: it is OK to perpetrate great evil in order to prevent an even greater evil and/or bring about a good outcome.

Underlying philosophy: pragmatism. The concept of "the ends justify the means."

Analysis of pragmatism: viscerally appealing, yet rotten at its core.

Hitlerian atrocities arose from pragmatism. Eugenics was a popular concept at the time. The idea was that, in order to move the human race forward, certain "unwanted" and "weak" elements within the race needed to be purged from the gene pool. Thus, blacks, homosexuals, mentally ill, Jews, the poor, the blind, etc, were marked for purging. Lest you cluck your tongue and shake your head in American superiority, please understand that the eugenics movement had adherents such as Woodrow Wilson and Teddy Roosevelt.

Would you sanction the killing of thousands of "inferior" human beings if it meant a greater quality of life for the "superior, pure" human race?

When televangelist and supposed healer Peter Popov was caught using radio communications to supposedly call people's names from the audience and announce their illnesses so he could heal them, he talked about how he was just helping God. And that, in the end, God was glorified. Pragmatism at work.

Moral relativism is the engine of pragmatism. It says that morals are situational and individual. It may not be wrong to steal, depending on the circumstances. Or to kill.

Right now, our country is throwing billions and billions at financial institutions and earmarked pork in order to dig us out of the financial mess that we all got into by overspending to begin with. We're told that it's not something we want to do, but it will bring us the desired outcome. That's like getting a fat man to eat extra food so he can lose weight. Pragmatism often has good goals, but when you compromise the means, you lose the objective.

How many politicians (both parties) have cheated, lied and made deals with the devil so that they could go to Washington and make a real difference, only to find that by they time they got there, they were so corrupted that they could do no great good? Instead, they actually did harm to the country.

Pragmatism put Jesus on a cross. The Jewish religious leaders were worried that Jesus would stir up trouble, make the Romans think that an insurrection was about to occur and cause the Romans to send in the military and massacre the Jews. Thus, "it is better to have one man die for the people than to have the whole nation destroyed." In the end, Israel was destroyed, along with their temple (A.D. 70).

Pragmatism offered by Watchmen is no different (except in scope) from the philosophy of the suicide bombers of radical Islam. It's a lie. A beautifully tragic one. It promises what it can't deliver. Doing what's wrong never leads to an outcome that is right. Not long-term.

Truth...Contentment...Life...

2009-03-06T11:42:00.002-05:00

I was a Rhythm last night (collegiate/20's-30's worship and Word time). We packed the house- standing room only. I lead a group from Rhythm that meets midweek.

Anyway, I was saying "hi" to a guy who also leads a group. He asked how things were going. Me- "good!" Him- "are you happy with where you are at your church?" Me- "I love it!" Him- "Really??" I was a bit dumbfounded. Didn't know what to say. I made some wisecrack about how I get half the take on Sunday mornings and I'm dating 2 of the choir members. In other words, that I'm a televangelist. (Not even close to true...but I didn't know what to say)

I've had time to think about his question. I believe it reveals that very American mindset that defines success as bigger, better, more. And then says anyone with any sense will chase it. Higher up in the workplace, more money, lots of material possessions. In church, bigger buildings, more people, lots of influence in the particular denomination. And I don't chase that particular rabbit.

I understand believing that the Christian faith is worthwhile and that it can change lives for the better. And wanting others to experience it. But- and maybe this is just me- I tend to notice that some of the big, growing churches in the Valley are really doing nothing more than transferring in people from other churches. And that's not success- it's cannibalism. And when it's intentional, it's wrong. We're on the same team.

We are believers together, not in competition. I swear, if one more person tries to convince me to leave Layman (I NEVER introduce myself as a pastor!) and come to that big church in Salem because of all the programs for children, the women's bible studies and the men's groups, I'm gonna finally just plain go ape! I always make it clear that I'm in a church I consider "home." Yet the members at this church, like Stepford Christians, want me to leave the place I believe God specifically led me and come to their church. Without regards for God's desire in it ("God sets each member in the body as he desires"- 1 Corinthians 12).

Anyway, I'm happy. No, I'm content. But more- I'm settled on the idea that I am exactly where I should be. And because of that, I'm overjoyed at the prospect of laboring in the Layman field. I see real Christianity. Authentic, transparent, struggling with addictions and brokenness and flaws and sins. And no one puts on the "Happy Jesus Face" because their in some stupid building that people call a church. They are real. The struggle. They are not perfect. And because they are very aware of their own flaws and failures, they don't put on those "holier-than-thou" attitudes. They don't look down on anyone. Instead, they have the overwhelming feeling that "we're all in this together."

A couple of our mottos are: "No perfect people" and "No one walks alone." We believe that. And if really religious people happen to come to the church, I'm just gonna piss 'em off anyway. No, I don't want to leave. I'm happy. I'm psyched. God has been so good to me in my middle-age. I get to work with the college-aged crowd. And I get to pastor a small church in which faith is real and people honestly care for one another. We feed, clothe, house those in need. We don't give money because we don't have it. But we care for one another. And we sincerely seek to let Jesus change how we live. We are growing deeper in Christ each day. Could I honestly ask for anything more?

God, Sex and D.L. Hughley...

2009-02-27T20:58:00.001-05:00

This is why Driscoll is my pastor...

BToL...

2009-02-04T11:54:00.002-05:00

BToL's are part of how I live my life. They are (based on observation, learning and experience)
Basic Truth's of Life.

For instance, if two partners approach a relationship each looking to get their own needs met, the relationship will suffer and neither will get needs met. If, however, they approach it looking for what they can give, both will have their needs met and the relationship will flourish. Thus, the

BToL: Healthy relationships involve an attitude of giving, not getting.

BToL: Intolerance is a part of human condition. Those who claim tolerance tend to be intolerant of the people they deem intolerant.

BToL: Jesus was not a "good teacher."

And, yet another BToL I experienced yesterday: I can run hills, I can run distance or speed, but not all three.

I wanted to go to Explore Park for an easy 6-er in the remnants of the snow. I got all the way into Vinton and found out the Parkway was closed. WTFrig???

Headed to Carvin's Cove. Didn't want to run pavement at the beginning, so I took 4 Gorges, which is climbing/descending/climbing/desc...well, you get the idea. Lots of half-frozen mucky mud in all the lower areas. Made it tough. I kept running fast and I'm not sure why. Had to stop to catch my breath several times.

Finished 4 Gorges, headed down the hill, now thoroughly warmed from the run. It was breezy and cold, but I was feeling OK. Knees giving me some probs, but I wanted to tough it out. Should have turned towards the parking lot, but my feet directed me to Comet.

Comet was almost un-run-able. Lots of mud, standing water and fat tire tracks cut deep into the soil. I was slip-sliding away. Ran on the sides of the trails quite a bit. Finished it, took the stream (wet feet at 33 or so degrees!) over to Forest and ran the first half of that. Forest was good!

By now, I wasn't hurting as much, but I should have headed back via the Happy Valley road. SHOULD have...

Instead, I ran Songbird back towards the gate. More hills, lots of turns, fairly cambered trail. But...it did become effortless as I sunk into the quasi-hypnotic state of distance running. I slowed pace quite a bit and just enjoyed, listening to Driscoll spout Jesus into my auditory receptors.

Happy Valley quickly to the pavement, then the car. Did 7.6 miles. Not a long run unless you haven't been doing much. Add the speed at the front end and the hills that bookmarked my run and I'm sore today.

Quick shower at the gym, Panera for laptop work and coffee, then dinner with the Wise Men and over to the Barnes and Noble 20/30's group for bible study. All-in-all, good day.

Home for Fringe (recorded) with wife, then bed by 1 AM or so. No sleep, but I'm good for now. Waiting on an addicted guy to call and hang out.

Peace,
Brian

Frailty...

2009-01-28T14:36:00.002-05:00

I didn't want to go out yesterday. Figured it would be icing out and I would stay home and work. But one of our band members went to the hospital with heart problems (he has ongoing heart issues). So I drove out to Lewis-Gale and spent a good hour talking to him.

I went into the hospital via the entrance to the left of the ER, found the appropriate elevator and took it up the floor with the Keurig coffee machine and the variety of coffees/hot chocolates for free. Grabbed a cup of butter toffee coffee and then walked the full length of the winding halls to the opposite end of the hospital to see my friend.

After the visit, I made some calls, did some work and made tracks for the gym. I debated a bit about going. Kinda wanted to go home and work there. I was grumpy for trying Ambien once again. Post-pill haziness and overall groggyness had a pretty good hold on me.

I hit the gym and started my normal superset weight workout. I do opposing muscle groups with no rest in-between. So I do a push/pull working. Bench press followed by lat pulldown, then back to bench press, etc. Then more chest and back supersets. Finally, shoulders (no supersets there!).

I had pulled something in my upper back last week (Saturday) and could still feel the pull, just a bit. I knew I needed to take the biceps curl sitting down- probably at a machine. Instead, I did tricep extensions supersets with bicep curls on a cable with straight bar attached- the greatest stress I could have put on that muscle in my back. I could feel it pulling. But...

I was admiring my arms in the mirror and feeling superhuman. So...I finished my third tricep extension and moved the pin to an even heavier weight for my curls. I felt it immediately- pain in my left upper back muscle.

I finished with a set of curls on the machine and then ran 4 miles, feeling in my back each step for the first mile.

After the run, I felt fine. Then...I got home and it began to hurt more. I debated cancelling B & N Tanglewood small group. But I hate doing that. Went, hurt, left early. Last night, almost no sleep. There were no good positions to sit, stand or lay.

I'm a bit better today- 2 muscle relaxers and double-shots of Aleve have helped.

But, I guess I'm not superhuman. I'm...frail. Subject to injury and pain. Always have been, but didn't acknowledge it until I hit more 40's. James would call yesterday OLS. I wasn't showing off for anyone but me, but OLS does have variants, doesn't it?

And Again...Gratuitus Info...

2009-01-24T11:03:00.000-05:00

Gratuitous info to follow:

The church website is: www.LaymanChurch.com

- Casual Dress (Jeans and T's-even for the pastor)

- Coffee- bring it in with you to the service

- Contemporary Band (yes: drums, guitars, keyboard, etc. Though right now it's mostly Christmas music)

- Nursery and Children's Church during the worship service

- 11 AM Sundays

- 5207 Old Mountain Road, Roanoke

- Not really denominational these days- just into following Christ

Need more info? Just leave a comment on the blog with an email address or use the form at the church website.

The difference...is huge

2009-01-24T10:58:00.000-05:00

"Confidence and arrogance are very different...Arrogance is when your confidence is rooted in yourself"- Driscoll

Circuit City? Brahahahahahahaha!!!

2009-01-23T14:35:00.002-05:00

First, a disclaimer. Sorry for those who worked at the CC. I know you are losing your jobs. I'm sorry. Truly.

But...I have had more bad experiences in CC than good ones over the years. I remember back when CC was at Crossroads Mall. I needed to return something. It was an MP3 player that wouldn't work- DOA out of the package. So I took it back. Waited at the desk for someone to help me. Finally, a little guy came and began to process the return. Then he said, "I'll need my manager's approval." And he stood there. I waited. He just stood there. I said, "Can you go get him." Little guy: "He's on break right now."

"Well," I asked, thinking about customer service and caring about repeat purchases, "Is there someone else you could get to approve the return?"

"Yes." Long pause, still standing there unmoved. "But they aren't here right now."

"When will your manager be back?"

"Soon."

So I waited. And waited. Then...I waited some more. It was a full 20 minutes before he came back. He was paged to the Returns Desk and looked annoyed. Never made eye contact with me. Asked his employee, "Are you sure it's not working?" The employee nodded in the affirmative.

The manager grumbled something about people not knowing how to work MP3 players. I said directly and in a very low voice (because I was more upset than I usually get and didn't want to blow my stack), "I've been waiting 20 minutes for you to approve this return. If you have any questions, I'm right here." He simply looked up, looked back down and continued to process the return. Then he walked off. No apologies, nothing.

Now, I'd like to have crossed CC off my list of places to shop right then and there. But...I like good deals. I like saving money. So when CC has the best deal, that's where I go. My wife's laptop came from CC at the Valley View location. An exchange was needed several days afterwards. We spent 2 hours in the store. 2 hours! In the daytime on a Monday with almost no one else there.

My second-to-last CC buying experience was this: my wife found a great deal on 2 Nintendo DS games for my son for Christmas. I told her before I left, "They'll mess it up. I just know it."

So- I looked for someone to help me find the right games. Took me awhile. Found a guy who worked in games and showed him the ad and asked for the games pictured in the ad. The young guy was helpful and friendly. Once procured, I took them to the front. The register rang up a much higher price. I calmly showed the ad to the woman at the checkout. She couldn't figure it out, so she called...a manager. About 5 minutes later, he was trying to figure it out. Finally, they called a guy from the back. He looked at the ad, looked at my games and told me I had picked up one of the wrong games. Mine was similar but not the same as in the ad.

I told him I was given the games by one the employees. His answer, "Yeah, you should've checked them before bringing them up front." He went to the back, got the correct item and brought it back up. It rang up just fine. Total time at the checkout? Close to 20 minutes.

I'm glad they are going out of business. There, I said it! I don't believe Best Buy will have a monopoly. Not with Walmart, Sears and the internet as competition.

By the way, DON'T, I repeat DON'T go to CC for any deals right now during the so-called liquidation sale- there aren't any. None. Zip. Zero. Nada. Zilch.

http://consumerist.com/tag/circuit-city/

Prices are higher. Think you have a good deal at CC? Write down model number, price, etc- take it to Best Buy. Don't ask for a price match- just look. I bet the price is lower at BB- even on non-sale stuff.

Na na na na, na na na na, hey hey-a, good bye!

"Because We're Clueless and Care More About Numbers than about People"

2009-01-22T23:38:00.003-05:00

Visiting with someone today. Told me about her friends who badger her to leave Layman and come join their church. Even tried to emotionally blackmail a friend's daughter to leave Layman. I hate that. I NEVER, repeat NEVER, try to get people to leave their churches for Layman. It's a compromise of integrity, a slap in the face of Jesus, a spitting upon the cross. We aren't in competition, but on the same team. Why do they do it? Like the title says...

A Big "Oooooppppsss!"

2009-01-19T12:32:00.004-05:00

The Seeker Model of Church takes a hit from its own...

Bill Hybels and the leadership of Willow Creek Community Church has admitted that what they have taught millions of pastors, church leaders and converts to “do” is “not producing solid disciples of Jesus Christ“. Hybels confessed, “We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and became Christians, we should have started telling people that they have to take responsibility to become ’self feeders.’ We should have gotten people (and) taught people, how to read their Bible between services (and) how to do spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.”

Jesus' Commission was to make disciples by "teaching them to observe" what he commanded. Not to shout Jesus at people, to force their views on others, to make a religion out of politics. But to simply...live it. Humbly, authentically, live it real.

Instead, we got churches offering multitudes of programs in exchange for the promise of butts in the seats on Sunday mornings instead of teaching truth in love and being involved in spiritual formation. And the result? Shallow, shopper Christians who sacrifice nothing but demand the best "deal" they can get in church choices. Sad...And wrong...

Past Week...

2009-01-18T23:38:00.002-05:00

Tried Ambien- heart beat fast and I was awake most of the night.

Tried a double shot the next night (10 mg instead of 5 mg)- slept like a log, but was spacey the next day.

Next night, nothing- no sleep. Not a wink. Tough night, not a great day the next day. Even missed an appointment to do premarital counseling. I never miss appts. Felt terrible- I stood them up.

Saw Doc- got X-rays of the knees. I'm feeling some pain- bad at times. But I can still run right now according to him. He suggests 2 days running and the rest doing cross-training. OH- and an anti-inflam. I hate those. Might take it. Not sure yet. Sister had a bleeding gut from NSAIDS.

Church cool- great people, busy day. Met for premarital today to make up for this week. Was too shot from church to do real well, but that's OK. Came home, wrote a paper that was due today. Didn't finish till 9 PM. All-in-all, about a 14 hour day. Tomorrow comes early with a hospital visit.

'Sall good, man. I'm blessed.

Quickly...

2009-01-16T19:44:00.001-05:00

Insomnia last night- no even a wink of sleep till 7:30 AM this morning. And then only 2.5 hours off and on. Just a bit tired right now...

Windows 7 is way cool. It's what Vista should have been. Very fast, sleek, good. I'm beta-testing it and loving the way it works.

'Nuff for now.

Later!

Bittersweet Visit with an Old Friend...

2009-01-13T07:48:00.003-05:00

I have an appointment today that could possibly end my friendship. So I decided to visit my friend yesterday in advance of today's meeting. I pointed my Infiniti towards Vinton, jumped onto the Parkway and tentatively made my way towards the Star. My hands were sweating and I was unsure of myself. Could I go through with this? What if things turned ugly- how would I get out without an exit strategy?

I sat in the parking lot for long moments. Cold outside. Radio talk show host kept me company by blustering politics in the car. Finally, I was ready. I took a deep breath and stepped out. The frigid wind hit me like an ice wall. I walked towards my friend. He was impassive yet welcoming.

Once there, the first footfalls were met with the muted crunch of brown leaves covering the hard-packed winter soil. My knees felt the impact, but just barely. I made it all of 2 minutes before needing a "nature break." Once emptied, I continued on, feeling great to be back with my buddy, the trail.

At the bottom on the bridge. How do I feel? So far, so good. But what if I get 3 miles out and then my knee goes out on me? Deal with it when it happens.

Looked up- I now had a long, steady climb ahead. I hadn't run trails in quite a while. Could I still do this without having to walk? I concentrated on Mark Driscoll in my ears as I slowly ascended and maneuvered the exposed roots, rocks and switchbacks. The pressure built in my chest. My breathing was labored. But...I topped the crest and continued on.

Continual feedback told me my knees were sore already. But onward I pressed, Driscoll speaking truth the whole time. Made it to the road. Moment of truth: should I stay or should I go? Outer Loop and extend the run or River Path back to car? This could be my last time out. Outer Loop, knees be damned.

I hit the long, steep climb o' doom. Surely I couldn't make this one without stopping? Brian, what are you doing? Turn back, you fool! Turn back! I ignored the supplication and began the climb. It's hella-steep. So I kept moving, leaves thick under my feet. I looked down, watching for buried tree roots that might twist an ankle and end the run. Saw my feet disappear in the leaves. Kept moving.

Yeah, I made it up the whole way! Stopped to breathe, then continued on. Ran the loop, feeling good. Back at the road, I took the River Path all the way to the road, then walked most the hill back to the car. I did 5 miles total. Heard about justification, sanctification and glorification. And how the religious "dogs" (Bible word) tend to put sanctification before justification, believing the lie that if they can just be good enough, God will accept and love them. Which, obviously, is absolute crap. God, religion just plain sucks...

My visit with my friend was good and, thus completed, I meandered towards home. Received a call from someone in dire circumstances- made an appointment to meet today. Then made it back to home base for recharge and chill time. Not a bad day off. Glad I went to visit my old Explore Park friend... Today, I'll go see the doc and find out if I can continue the friendship...

Help! I'm Trapped in the Body of a 45-Year-Old Bald White Guy!

2009-01-06T09:44:00.004-05:00

Church Stuff:

So much going on. I feel overwhelmed. New Deacon Couples. New ministries to get off the ground. Facebook/Connection/Prayer wall to create in the worship area. Community Fair to plan for.

I hate going into Sunday not liking the message. But that's what I felt like this past weekend. The message dealt with murmuring and arguing. I'm going verse-by-verse. But our folks don't tend to do that stuff. Still, I needed to hit it. I wanted to scrap the outline I had in the worship program and on the PowerPoint and just preach it from the bible- no outline. I should have. It was an example of me going with what was planned rather than with what I sensed God was leading me to do. And I should have listened to God...

Work-Outs:

I'm hitting the weights twice/week at the gym. Loving it. Going a bit too heavy, so I need to ease off before I wind-up injured. My left rotator cuff was hurting a bit after last week's workout.

My knees, though... I'm wondering if I have Rheumatoid Arthritis. My mom does, my grandmother did. I have transient joint pain problems. And I have the RA titer in my system. All I know is, it hurt to move my legs at all yesterday. I stood at the hospital and every time I moved, I felt it. Walked to the car was an exercise in understanding how my mom must feel every day of her life.

I see the Dr. this next week- Ortho guy. Hopefully he can give some insight. I've taken to the treadmill (short runs) because it kinda sucks to be 4 miles out and have the knee really start hurting and still need to get 4 miles back to the car. And I can't hitch a ride at Carvin's Cove- the bears just give me annoyed looks when I ask!

But even if I find out I can't run again, I'm grateful for the time I've had. And I'm so blessed by my family, my work, my spiritual life, I hardly know what to do sometimes. Life is too good. And being off the temazepam is great- it can lead to depression- I didn't know that until recently. And I look back over this past year and see some of my upbeat optimism was sliding away. Screw that! Life's too short to be negative and critical.

Time to work!

Peace!

Poppin' Pills with Major Tom...

2008-12-26T11:02:00.002-05:00

Read-up on the Temazepam I take for insomnia. Apparently, I shouldn't take it long-term. Great, really- I've only been on it for a year or two. So I guess I'm OK. The voices keep telling me not to worry. Of course they're speaking French, so that's a bit problematic.

Seriously, with my knees hurting and the transient joint pain I've been having, I did some research on my sleep drug and found out it can cause joint pain. So...I now have to ween myself off of the drug that has helped me sleep. I'll go through some restless nights, but that's why God gave us televisions and DVD's (praise Jesus!). I won't be real productive at 3 AM. But I can always veg to a good movie or 3.

I keep thinking back to the Bob Seger song, "Like a Rock."'

I was eighteen
Didnt have a care
Working for peanuts
Not a dime to spare
But I was lean and
Solid everywhere
Like a rock

My hands were steady
My eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose
My steps were quick and light
And I held firmly
To what I felt was right
Like a rock

Like a rock, I was strong as I could be
Like a rock, nothin ever got to me
Like a rock, I was something to see
Like a rock

And I stood arrow straight
Unencumbered by the weight
Of all these hustlers and their schemes
I stood proud, I stood tall
High above it all
I still believed in my dreams

I remember being solid, strong, invulnerable. Age and truth take that feeling away. Age, because I realize I can't do some of the things I used to do. Truth, because I never was invulnerable anway. That's just a myth of youth.

But- and this I like- the strength of youth gives way to the wisdom of years. The trick is to enjoy EVERY season of life. Instead of looking at what we don't have, real life is found in looking at the gifts this particular season of life has brought.

Again, per Seger:

He wants to dream like a young man
With the wisdom of an old man
He wants his home and security
He wants to live like a sailor at sea

Beautiful loser
Where you gonna fall?
When you realize
You just can't have it all

He's your oldest and your best friend
If you need him, he'll be there again
He's always willing to be second-best
A perfect lodger, a perfect guest

(Above, Seger is talking about the life that's waiting. It'll still be there, but if you try to have it all and always look at what you're not getting, you're just a beautiful loser- losing out on the life you DO have)

Beautiful loser
Read it on the wall
And realize
You just can't have it all
You just can't have it all

Yeah, I'm older. And I hurt at times. And the bills are always there. I want to travel, run ultras and sail catamarans. But I just don't need it all. And what I got is better than any of that! My family is amazing and incredible. They're a gift. My church family is so cool! Someone wrote me an email this week. Here's a small excerpt: "Layman is the only church we have been a member of that we could be ourselves and say what we think without being judged and that is a wonderful thing."

I am so blessed by God that it's not even funny. In the midst of the aches and pressures of life, I got more than I know. I am no longer like a rock. My God is more rock than I'll ever need. And that's enough...

Too Much Fun...

2008-12-21T17:31:00.002-05:00

Another Christmas Sunday at Layman- my 4th now. I'm into almost 5 years there (in May).

I knew it would be a bit sketch to have people call out Christmas Carols and then try to sing them. We did "Grandma Got Runover By a Reindeer!" But the most fun was when one of our returning guests (still fairly new to the church) called out "Good King Wenceslas." We didn't know it. So, at our urging, she came up to the microphone and sang it for us. She forgot some of the words and no one minded. And then told us about the meaning. Those moments can't be scripted. It was just friggin' cool.

We drank eggnog and coffee. We had gift bags for kids with candy, etc, (again, not scripted by the church- one of our people just chose to make them). I talked about Caesar Augustus and his title as a son of god and savior. The coin he had minted: "Caesar, there is no other name by which men may be saved." And how Christ totally challenged that authority, that claim to divinity, that Roman kingdom (and all kingdoms).

We talked about the real meaning of repentance (changing an allegiance). We talked about spitting in church. It was...cool. I wish we'd podcasted it. Much of the latter part came from Shaun Groves, who spoke at Rhythm. I gave him proper attribution after researching to make sure it was correct.

And, at the end where I take questions, comments and disagreements, a couple of women shared about how God has been working in their lives. Again, off-the-cuff.

Layman may always stay small, but I'll take it! The spectator church just puts on programs without any need for involvement or engagement by the people. 1 Corinthians 14 gives a much different picture. This Christmas is, for me, Thanksgiving. I'm thankful for all I co-labor with. They are precious gifts and the fact that I get to do ministry with these people- that I get to do life with this people- is a grace of which I am completely and utterly undeserving.

Returning...

2008-12-18T01:26:00.002-05:00

Just got back from the Switchfoot/3 Doors Down concert in Greensboro. Switchfoot was better than I thought they'd be. 3 Doors Down rocked the house- lots of heart in the songs, great performance. Saw my son bang his head, jump up and down and basically enjoy himself.

Coming back, it was like pea soup most of the way. Lots of fog. We're OK, thank God. Tired, but OK. Switchfoot's "Meant to Live" stayed with my and my son more than any other song from the concert. We listened to it 3 times more on the way back.

OK- time for bed. Later!

Silence!

2008-12-16T10:39:00.003-05:00

From Driscoll's Blog:

It was a very normal day until I realized that I was actively destroying my own soul.

The day began with my alarm jolting me awake. I immediately turned on my BlackBerry to hear it chime for each voicemail and email that had been left while I slept. I stepped into the shower where I listened to my waterproof radio. I then turned on the television to catch some news while I dressed. Driving to work I tuned in to some talk-radio banter.

Throughout the day the chime on my laptop kept ringing as email arrived, and my cell phone continued to vibrate and ring on my hip. Before long, I needed a break, and I put on my iPod to go for a walk.

On the drive home, I again listened to the radio in an effort to drown out the blaring horns of frustrated fellow commuters. After eating dinner and tucking my five children into bed, I turned on the television to watch shows I had recorded on my Tivo.

As I drifted off to sleep, it dawned on me that I had not had one minute of silence during my entire day. It was possible, I realized, that I could live the rest of my life without ever again experiencing silence.

In that moment, God deeply convicted me that I was addicted to the false trinity of our day, the gods known as Noise, Hurry, and Crowds. I remembered the words of missionary martyr Jim Elliot, who said, “I think the devil has made it his business to monopolize on three elements: noise, hurry, crowds . . . Satan is quite aware of the power of silence.”

I began to ponder what Jesus’ life might be like if He lived today. Would He be available to all of His followers twenty-four hours a day on His BlackBerry? Would He have left His phone on at the Last Supper and been continually interrupted by needless calls? Would He have failed to stop and speak to needy people because their weeping was not loud enough for Him to hear over His iPod as He hurried past them on His way to a meeting He was already late for?

In that moment I prayed, asking God for His wisdom and help to save me from myself. God answered my prayer and reminded me that Jesus often took periods of prayerful silence to hear from the Father and to ensure not that He was doing everything He could, but that He was doing only what was most important.

Because I Was Asked To...

2008-12-13T11:39:00.004-05:00

Gratuitous info to follow:

The church website is: www.LaymanChurch.com

- Casual Dress (Jeans and T's-even for the pastor)

- Coffee- bring it in with you to the service

- Contemporary Band (yes: drums, guitars, keyboard, etc. Though right now it's mostly Christmas music)

- Nursery and Children's Church during the worship service

- 11 AM Sundays

- 5207 Old Mountain Road, Roanoke

- Not really denominational these days- just into following Christ

Need more info? Just leave a comment on the blog with an email address or use the form at the church website.

OK- request for info complete!

Smokin' Joints...

2008-12-12T10:06:00.003-05:00

Is it time? Seriously, is this it? Do I finally give in and go for it? Lay on the couch with my eyes half-open watching some bleary TV show while balancing a half-eaten bag of Cheetos on my bloated stomach, waiting for the Papa John's guy to arrive? Could be, my friend. Could be...

My left knee is smoked. The joints hurt so bad I'm considering poking myself in the eye with a sharp stick to take my attention off them. This may be it for running. I'm not positive, but laying off isn't helping and the pain is deep- it feels like bone-on-bone. My joints are smoking and I'm not even laughing or indulging the munchies, though I do get paranoid every now and then. Why are all those people with hair looking at me? Hmmmm....

I gotta wait until January, then I can go see the Ortho and get some microwaved knees and find out the extent of the damage. Until then...I'm missing long runs at the Cove, just me and Mark Driscoll preaching in my ear about the joys of physical marital love (great sermon series!). How long, O Lord, how long?!?

:-) 'Sall good, man. God is good. Life is good. The stationary bike at Planet Fitness kinda sucketh, but beyond that- it's good.

Subdivisions...

2008-12-04T16:33:00.002-05:00

Just finished watching a song from the Canadian rock band "Rush" on TV. The song reminded me of just how easy it is to give up individuality in order to gain acceptance from a dominant sub-cultural group.

From the song "Subdivisions:"

Growing up it all seems so one-sided
Opinions all provided
The future pre-decided
Detached and subdivided
In the mass production zone

Nowhere is the dreamer
Or the misfit so alone

Subdivisions ---
In the high school halls
In the shopping malls
Conform or be cast out
Subdivisions ---
In the basement bars
In the backs of cars
Be cool or be cast out

Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight

When I first began mountain biking, I asked a lot of questions of my friend Rodney: what do I wear? What kind of gloves? Are the helmets different from road bike helmets? Etc, etc.

Why? Because I didn't want to be a "fred"- I wanted to fit in.

When I was young, I wore black shirts with skulls on them and wrote a music column in the school newspaper. My hair was long and I looked pretty rock-n-roll. Even managed to get the lyrics to Nazareth's "Hair of the Dog" printed in the school newspaper before my teacher could catch it. ("Now you're messin' with a son of a b*&^%").

The reason for all that was simple- I was looking for somewhere I could fit in. Could be accepted. I was identifying with my rock culture. Country dudes back then were wearing boots and hats and driving pickups. No different than me, though we didn't like each other much.

My point is that the overwhelming need is to fit, to be accepted, to be a part of. And that's OK in moderation. The problem is the moderation.

I wonder if, in our Christian sub-cultures (more than one!), we haven't done the exact same thing? For instance, much of the Valley religion is Christian T-Shirts, bumper stickers, in-your-face religion and holier-than-thou-ism. "Well, I don't drink or cuss. I'm better than those people. I even vote Republican like Jesus did!" Sheesh, gimme a friggin' break!

And then I realized, in my zeal to not be like that, I had unconsciously settled into the sub-culture opposed to that brand of faith. And the problem with all of these sub-cultures is the same- they divide. They take people- all made in the image of God and created with innate worth and value (yes, ALL!)- and turn them into foes. Into groups whose value is derived from the group values and their identification with it.

Some people find self-worth in being Baptist. Others in being Pentecostal. Still others think that if they volunteer a lot, they are better than those who don't. Some believe that driving certain types of cars make them better than people who drive clunkers. Yet, the undeniable truth is that we all have value= equal value in the eyes of God.

All- Baptist, Atheist, Wesleyan, Hypercostal Charismaniac, Straight, Gay, Man, Woman, Democrat, Republican, Black, White, Rich, Poor, etc. And our groups have caused pride and division. We have looked down our noses at those who are "different" as though it means they aren't worth as much. They don't "measure up." I believe that grieves the heart of God.

If Jesus did die for our sin as a substitute, then he died for everyone. Not just some. And only an outlook that gives dignity and worth to all properly reflects the truth of my faith.

OK- 'nuff of my "flu" blog. God, I hate being sick!

Chicken is in the Eye of the Beholder...

2008-11-28T16:46:00.002-05:00

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time
for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: BECAUSE, PRAISE JESUS, I WAS GONNA SHOOT
HIS SORRY LIBERAL BEHIND OFF FOR BLOCKING MY VIEW OF RUSSIA !

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified
to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road,
I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about
the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he
must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the
problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize
how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding
new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why
he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from
his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken
a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest
of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty!
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die, in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you
eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we
sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain
and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced
a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing
the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together,
in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much
more stable and will never crash.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Long Run...

2008-11-25T18:30:00.002-05:00

Not much to say, just another long run at the Cove. Started a little after 3 PM. Cold but sunny, so I did sweat more than last Wednesday's run. Then it got windy and I froze. Was a bit dehydrated, but took and drained a 32 ounce Powerade during the 10-miler. Still, I'm rehydrating now. I lost 5 pounds of fluid over the course of the run.

Saw 2 bikers heading back via the Comet "Switchback of Impossibility." Moved over to let them make it. One rode it while the other just dismounted with a look of absolute disbelief and said, "I can't believe he just did that! I've never seen anyone ride that before!" Then he said, "Beautiful." I thought he was talking about the weather and said, "Yes, it is, but windy." He said, "That was a beautiful move!"

Did Comet, ...Forest, Little Bell, Schoolhouse, Happy Valley back to Little Bell, then Happy Valley to paved road to parking lot.

Ran last Friday, hiked a mountain on Saturday, was on my feet for most of Sunday (with my legs aching), walked Concord Mall on Monday. Was thinking I might not run today. But I did make it and I'm glad I did.

Charlotte...

2008-11-25T10:26:00.002-05:00

Told my son this past week that we might go to D.C. for a day on Monday (yesterday). By Sunday night, I still hadn't told him for sure what we would do. I went to check on him and he was in bed, almost asleep. He'd propped a note on himself that read, "If we are going to Washington, wake me up so I can pack."

I smiled and read it as he opened his eyes and sleepily said, "So...are we going?" Excited hopefulness in his dreamy little voice. I didn't want to give anything away. "Why don't you get up and pack as though we're going, though we probably won't."

Now fully awake, his voice higher by a few octaves, "OK, OK!" He threw off the covers and proceeded to pack his Nintendo DS, his portable DVD player, some games and movies and some money to spend- "$30 even," he assured me.

I had a different plan and executed it Monday morning. As I was stumbling down the hall towards caffeinated consciousness, my son woke up and called, "So, are we going?" "Yeah, in an hour," I answered, swerving into his room. My 9 year-old son, stood up with an "I love you, dad" and a firm hug. "Is mom going?"

"Do you want her to go?" He thought for a brief moment. Diplomatic, as always in these situations. "Well...we're going to the concert in December, just you and me. So I guess I want her to come with us today."

"OK, buddy. Why don't you go tell her and see if she'll come." I knew she was on the fence about this and thought her little charmer might push her over onto our side.

Caffeine and a computer for me for the next 45 minutes as I made double-checked the route, looked at options and looked for coupons. Quick shower and change of clothes and we were off. All three of us.

We headed to Charlotte, not D.C., because Charlotte has Concord Mills Mall. And the possibility of making it to the IMAX for Madagascar 2. D.C. would just be museums and I wanted him have 9 year-old fun rather than peeking into what would be Daddy fun- sculptures, painting, libraries, etc.

It rained most of the way, and was cold when we stopped for gas/restroom breaks. And yes, I'm one of those who stops along the way rather than making everyone in the car suffer because I have to "make good time." OH- and be prepared to judge me as a huge sinner (like you don't already!)- we played $1 scratchers. My wife had one and my son had one. I want to teach him that you usually lose and you have to know when to quit.

He won a $1. Then he got another one further down the road just before hitting North Carolina. Won $2. On the way back, he lost it all. We were happy that he'd had fun but also made the point about going to far with gambling. And no, I don't believe it's a sin to gamble. Can't find that in the bible and since I'm not a big fan of bible-belt religion, I think I'll go with the bible rather than the rules of men.

While in Charlotte, we ate at Dave and Busters, played games, hit the indoor Go-Kart track (my son beat me and another kid), walked the mall, bought candy, had ice cream from Cold Stone Creamery, saw Madagascar 2 at the regular theater (never made it to the Imax), ate dinner at Sonny's Barbecue (great stuff! My son and wife split the ribs, I had sliced beef and we had beans, sweet potato, cornbread). Finally, around 6:30 PM, we headed home.

Made it back through the rain and some heavy fog by 10 PM. We'd been gone for 13.5 hours. Had a great time together as a family. Laughed a lot, enjoyed being together and made memories that hopefully will help shape my son and continue to bond my wife and I together.

Only negative of the trip- a woman who knew I was on vacation called to let me know about someone in the church having had a medical procedure. I could have gone all week not knowing and that would have been alright. Instead, I spent half an hour or so struggling with whether or not I should call the person who'd had the procedure. Finally chose not to. Still feel like I am expected to, but that's the struggle. I know it seems silly, but when you carry around others burdens 24/7, you get hopeful that you might be able to spend a day, or even a week, letting others handle it. Almost never works that way.

Regardless, had a great time and enjoyed my family in the context of my faith, which teaches me that all my days are fleeting and I need to make the most of each while I have it. I need to consciously build into the lives of those around me, starting with my wife and son. The cool thing is, I almost always enjoy it while I purposely pursue that goal.

24, Jesus, etc...

2008-11-23T18:52:00.004-05:00

24 is tonight! In about an hour, actually. Looking forward to torture, murder, violence and mayhem (in Christian love, of course!). Seriously, 24 is a great escape from the reality of bills, falling stock markets, overworking and health problems.

I have a vacation coming this week. I'll be sending in Worship Programs and will be meeting with a guy who just became homeless, trying to find him some shelter. But other than that- vay-cay baby! OH, and helping mom and dad go to the Dr. on Tuesday, maybe. And cleaning the house on Wednesday for family to come for T'giving on Thursday. And having family over on Thursday. But...other than that: vay-cay! And I need to get my car inspected. And deal with HP on a billing problem. But...then...vay-cay!

Yeah, 24 might be the right thing for tonight. And next Sunday, I'll get to check out another church in the Valley and enjoy the experience. Maybe a good long-run this week. Take my son to Charlotte, to Concord Mills sometime this week.

God, I love Layman Church. The people are so cool. Just laid-back, relaxed people trying to follow Christ in an atmosphere of authentic community and humble service. I'm pretty friggin' blessed.

Saw a guy today who was bitten by a black widow and part of his body is paralyzed. The poison has moved into his lymph nodes. He's young- saw him at church. Poor guy. Another guy is recently homeless (referenced above). A girl goes to jail on the weekends starting this coming weekend. She's been at church lately, too. I'll miss her for a while. Single moms and former/current addicts struggling to follow Jesus. That's my crowd and I wouldn't trade 1 of them for 1,000 Christian-T-Shirt-wearing, Jesus-shouting, holier-than-thou, closed-minded religious hypocrites that are so much a part of the bible-belt religion dominant in the Valley.

What did Jesus call the religious people of his day? "Sons of hell, white-washed tombs full of dead men's bones, hypocrites, liars, guys whose moms banged Satan on the side ('sons of the devil')." Is it just me, or was he not trying real hard to make friends with them? Now, all I gotta do is make sure I'm not one of those guys. Easier said than done, but I'm trying.

Jesus rocks. We actually serve a king who gave his life for us before ever asking us to pledge our loyalty to him. What other leader would do that?

OK, time to get ready to watch mass mayhem!

Vay-cay!

Run into Darkness, Forest, Run...

2008-11-20T10:33:00.002-05:00

Didn't make it to the Cove till close to 4 PM. It was overcast and hella-cold. My kind of running weather. 37 degrees when I started.

I saw a couple of guys putting up their mountain bikes and heading back home. Stepped out of the car in my shorts, new CHEAP shoes (Asics Gel-Kahana 2= $31 shipped!), short-sleeved tech shirt, light wind-breaker jacket, light fleet-feet gloves and buff on my head.

Had the MP3 programmed for Driscoll sermons. He's going through Song of Solomon. Great line: "Guys, that's not her belly-button he's describing here...It's in the Bible, so I don't think God has a problem with sex. Religious people do, but God doesn't."

Started out from the parking lot down the paved road for about a mile to Comet. I was cold for this first mile, then warmed up fine. Took lower Comet to the cut-off for ...Forest and ran both halves of it before hitting Little Bell was fun. I was feeling good, but could tell it would be getting dark soon. I knew I should turn around and just have a shorter run, but I was in the zone, feeling good, running the pace for an LSD run (long, slow, distance). Which is what I'd wanted to do.

So, against my better judgment, I watched as my feet took me to Schoolhouse. Crossed 2 water crossings without soaking my feet, so that's a plus! I could tell it was getting colder, but I felt OK. Could feel my left calf and hamstring pulling, but this has been an ongoing thing and would only be a problem if I actually pulled my ham out there, since no one was around, it was very cold and I had no phone or even a light with me.

Kept going and finished Schoolhouse. Headed left Happy Valley (fire road). Continued over the bridge to loop back around to Little Bell. By now, the darkness was hitting and I had to strain to see rocks and roots that might trip me up.

Little Bell back. Running faster, feeling the weight of my decision to run long without a light (forgot it) in absolute solitude.

Hit Happy Valley again and turned right. Thought about taking Forest and Comet back, but I could barely see my own feet, so I stayed on the gravelly, rocky fire road. It's always a longer way back than I think it will be.

Finally arrived at the paved road- just 1 more mile to go!- and realized I'm wearing black shorts, black jacket, dark buff and running on a country road. NOT SMART!

I saw a car coming and stepped over onto the side and almost fell into the ditch. Waiting for them to pass, but they didn't- turned up a driveway instead.

Finally made it to the parking lot and I couldn't even see my hands in front of me. 2 guys were getting ready for a night ride- I could see them silhouetted against the interior car lights. Said "Hi" and walked slowly to my car, cooling down.

That's when the cold chill set in. Stretched, got in the car and shivered a bit on my way home. Hot bath to warm my core, quick bite to eat and out the door to a budget meeting. Good people, good meeting.

All in all, I ran 10.5 miles (or so) and had a great time.

Notes:
- I had carried a small 20 oz water with me, but I needed more. Dry cold air really dehydrates you
- I need to remember to carry my light in case it gets dark
- Taking a hit of asthma stuff 20 minutes before running is perfect in cold weather
- Many of those beautiful, gentle little deer need to be shot before they cause lots of people to wreck (and no, I'm not a hunter, just a realist)

Vay-kay'-shun

2008-11-18T12:46:00.002-05:00

Vay-kay'-shun- what Brian needs right now. I had a day at the beach this summer (1 day driving there, 1 day driving back) and a day at King's Dominion. It was all I could afford. But...I'm tired! I'm 3 and 1/2 weeks with only 1 day off.

We set out to reach people other churches don't care much about. We hit our target- but dude, it's one crisis after another. In the past month, there have been 3 suicidal people to deal with, a family with an angry, violent addict in the home, mucho marriage counseling issues and so much more.

Was supposed to chill with the wife Sunday night, but I was at the hospital and when I came home, she was sleeping. Was supposed to take Monday off, but I needed to meet with people, visit the hospital and go the jail to see one of our youth. I had 3 hours to hang with my wife set aside for Monday night (1 hour with wife and son for family game night, then 2 hours with wife).

So I put the phone on silent. I checked it about 10:30 PM and darned if there wasn't a message from a good guy who needed a ride home from the hospital. He's a good guy and I understood his need, but apparently I didn't get to him in time. Why do I feel so bad about it?

I'd like to play the martyr and talk about how hard all this is, but the truth is, I know people who serve Jesus and his people much more than I ever will. And much of my struggle is learning to say, "No, dude, I can't come clean out your basement for you. I love you, but clean out your own friggin' basement, ya bum!" Seriously, people want me to come help them unpack after moving (twice recently). Dude, I don't do that. I'll see if others want to help, but I'm actually thinking my family might want to see me from time-to-time.

So, I'm hoping to take next week (T'giving week) off. I gotta arrange for a preacher for Sunday. And I'm sure all hell will break lose and I'll be back to working, but I'm friggin' tired right now. I'm just hoping to have a day off this week. And if I take it, I'll know I should be working the non-virtual Facebook wall we're putting up at church.

OK, my electronic whine and cheese party is now over. I'm grateful that God can use me to do anything at all. I'm not sure that, were I God, I would...

Read Mountain Hike...

2008-11-15T20:25:00.003-05:00

I'm leading a hike up Read Mountain from Bonsack area on Saturday, November 22, 11 AM. Hoping for good weather. Can't wait- lots of people, very little parking, lots of fun!

Didn't get to run today- needed to serve my wife instead. Wish I could say the choice was easy, but I really wanted to run. Didn't let her know, though. I believe couples who approach marriage looking to give rather than get wind-up a lot happier and last a lot longer than those who are in the relationship for what they can get out of it. (Of course, that probably applies to ALL relationships).

Looking forward to tomorrow and hanging with non-religious people who like to follow the teachings of Christ. Should be good...

Into the Darkness Night Trail Race...

2008-11-09T23:53:00.002-05:00

Day 21- No Need to Read...just figuring some things out...

2008-11-09T18:43:00.005-05:00

So now I head into week 3 of no days off. Oh sure, I took 1/2 days twice. But in terms of an actual day off- nada. Tried Friday, but wound-up doing 4-5 hours before it was all over. A crisis sitch developed and then there were some other issues that needed attention. All that to say, I'm going to try hard to take tomorrow, Monday, off. My son wants to walk up Read Mountain, so we might do that (Lord willing!).

But I've noticed that, as energized as I feel after hanging with the peeps on Sunday, my overall energy is really down. Church is the coolest, and I love hanging with people and discipling, counseling, etc, through the week.

But we have several open projects (Beau's House, the non-virtual Facebook Wall, the Children's Ministries revamp, the Ministry Fair follow-up and the possible 12:45 PM new group study. Not to mention, youth outings and retreats as well as our EGR's (Extra Grace Required folks- they tend to need more time than others. And the new Deacon Couple Ministry. And that's OK- but it does mean more work overall).

That being said, we continue to have new people showing up- and they DEFINITELY aren't the normal church folk! Halle-freakin-lujah for that! Being a church for those who've had enough of organized religion is a cool thing- just takes lots of work.

I haven't learned to delegate and empower people. I'm working towards it, but I'm not a manager. I'm a fellow spiritual traveler, a journeyer in Christ. And that means I'm not a strategist, an administrative personality or a political player. So I gotta work harder on empowering the people I serve.

Last week and the week before were hard. I've dealt with a 16-year old's death, 2 suicide threats and several families living in crisis- 1 in present danger. I need to learn to disengage when I'm not working. Turn off the cell phone and just be with my family. Let the emotions that cause me to cry with those who cry and celebrate with those who celebrate fade away so that I simply experience the joy of being with my own family. That balance is tough. If I disengage too much, I cease to care for the people I serve. Right now, I'm overbalanced in the other direction.

I work with a guy who could probably be a staff member in the church one day- if he can keep steady and on course. He's a good guy. Just passionate without the balance of steadiness. I hope one day when the church is big enough, that I'm working alongside him on staff.

Right now, I'm just glad to be at a church where the preacher (me) gets to wear jeans and t-shirts and simply go through books of the bible, teaching and learning at the same time. I love having the Q & A time at the end of the messages, where people can ask questions, comment on or disagree with anything I said. That kind of freedom is rare and it's what church ought to be.

In the end, the major big growing church in the Valley has nothing I want or need. I'm happy to serve with real people who don't do organized religion or rules and regulations/sucky bible-belt mentality. I just need a day off and...daily bread (like health insurance and dental, maybe?). But it's all good.

skinny tires...

2008-11-06T16:45:00.002-05:00

yeah, had a coffee/meeting with someone downtown, so i dusted off the skinny tires and rode there. sat outside mill mountain coffee (in the back, great day for it), chatted, counseled, whatever. got back on the bike and braved my way home.

57 minutes, ~ 16 miles. felt good. too bad the weather is changing.

Obama...

2008-11-05T10:38:00.002-05:00

I watched it last night. I saw the concession speech and came away feeling like McCain was a man of honor. His ads were almost always attack ads and that's a shame. But he took the blame for the loss and praised his opponent and the citizen's choice of Obama.

I really hope we rally around, pray for and unite under this next President. I don't agree with him on some things (just as I didn't agree with McCain on some things), but I hope we support Obama to the best of our ability. I hope debate is legitimate, above-board and content-oriented. And, because we live in a broken, flawed world, I pray we don't experience another JFK. I pray for the safety of Obama. There's just too many whack-jobs out there.

I pray for the safety of our nation. We haven't had another attack on our shores since 9/11. I hope we continue with that same vigilance and was glad to hear Obama address those who would destroy us.

Time to move forward! Glad I voted, sooooo glad the presidential political season is over!!!

Now...c'mon Dallas Cowboys- go get 'em!

It Was Rigged!!!!!

2008-11-04T20:07:00.002-05:00

No, not the election. But...well...

I was upset with the results. Yeah, I was sick. I was coughing up all manner of green and yellow stuff while running (nice mental image, eh?). But I ran better than my time.

So, I acted on a hunch and re-ran the entire race course today. It was rainy and slippery and cool outside. My kind of weather. I ran the beginner track. Ran the intermediate to the endurance. Ran the endurance to the jeep road, took it to the riverside trail, then up to the finish line. Total time? 39 minutes.

So...why was I so slow Saturday night? 2 reasons...1 to be expected and the other a real shame. First, it was dark and that does make a difference. But...and this one is just part of the deal...the slowdown created by so many extra people this year.

When we hit the beginner trail en masse Saturday night, we almost came to a complete halt. It was slow going for almost the whole trail. Finally, we passed people who were already walking. Basic rule of running races: slower people keep to the rear.

It's OK- I'm glad the NOOBs were running. But I didn't pass as aggressively as I should have when it might have been scary for the person I was passing (to narrow a gap, too many obstacles, etc). And the NOOBs didn't know enough to move to the side of the trail. I remember taking the beginning of the Intermediate trail downhill very fast with another guy. One girl yelled something like, "I'm surprised you feel so confident to let loose like that." The guy I was following got to the climb and started walking. I'm kept running and felt really good, all things considered.

Anyway, I'm happier now that I know what was up.

The race was fun. I'd love to do more of that stuff! And the race director did a great job of putting on a first-class event. Except for that course marshall who kept yelling at us and calling us "losers." But there's one in every crowd...

Peace,
Brian

Heisted from Someone Else's Blog...

2008-11-01T11:11:00.001-04:00

Yeah, I totally ripped this from http://dwelldeep.net:

I spend a good portion of my week in dialogue with pastors. They are from different denominations and tend to be different ages (although most of them are young). The conversations range from theology to philosophy, church growth to how to lead a staff. I enjoy them. I love robust discussion over things that matter. I like it when the unanswerable questions are asked and wrestled over; it somehow feeds my soul. Lately though I have been somewhat disturbed by something I am hearing or maybe sensing in the questions and directions of the conversations in which I find myself. When I exited itinerant ministry to become a pastor, I left crowds that were in the thousands and finances that more than provided for my family to go to a small (160 people) church that cut my annual salary in half. There wasn’t one person who thought that taking the position at The Village was a “smart” move. In fact, several actually sat me down and told me they thought I was being disobedient and a bad steward of the gifts that God had imparted to me. The truth is I didn’t become the pastor of a church in the suburbs of Dallas because I had a grand vision for growing a dynamic, life-transforming, church-planting, Gospel-preaching, God-centered church. I took the position because after a great deal of conversations, prayers and fasting, my wife and I felt it was the direction God, through the Holy Spirit, was leading us. I came to The Village because I thought that by doing so I would get to see more of Him, experience more of Him, sense more of Him, see more of me die, more of my flesh perish, the old man in me lose more power…He is the great end that I am after. He is why. In 1 Timothy 4:10 Paul writes “For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.“ I love that verse. We toil, yes. We strive, yes, but where is our hope? What, or rather, who is the goal? I love preaching the Gospel and I love planting churches but I do those things because in them there is this unbearable weight of His presence. This crushing majesty that makes me want to cry, sing and scream all at the same time.

The thing that disturbs me lately is that it seems that the goal is something else all together. The goal is growing our churches to a certain size or our platforms (pulpits, blogs, books) to a certain fame. How hollow is that? And, how dangerous? Just because men love Jesus and follow Him doesn’t mean that they get to grow or reach a certain level of “success” (I use that word loosely). Here are a few men who loved our great God and King and were obedient beyond the norm:

* Moses spends his whole life with grumbling, whiners and dies without getting to walk into the promise land.
* Samson suicide bombs the Philistines and when the dust settles he is dead and the Philistines still rule over Israel.
* David’s son rapes his sister and leads a rebellion against David, dethroning him for a season.
* Jeremiah ends up in exile with the rest of the country after repeatedly getting beaten for preaching what God commanded him to preach.
* John the Baptist is beheaded by a pervert who gives his head to a 15-year-old stripper.
* Peter is killed, reportedly crucified upside down.
* Paul is killed in Rome but only after he spends his life (with thorn intact) being beaten, rejected, lost at sea, and consistently dealing with people coming in behind him and destroying what he built.

If your hope is set on anything other than Him, how do you survive when it goes bad? How do you remain passionate and vibrant when no one comes or the baptismal waters are still for long stretches? How do you maintain doctrinal integrity or teach hard things if He isn’t the treasure? How do you worship when your wife gets sick or your son goes for a ride in an ambulance? If He is the goal, the treasure, the pursuit, then those things are fuel that presses you into His goodness and grace all that much more. I am not saying they are pleasant or enjoyable but only that if He is your goal you will find your faith sustained.

May God bless you and keep you. May you see that He is the treasure, He is the pursuit, He is the goal…and may you press on toward the goal for the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Amazing....

2008-10-31T14:36:00.001-04:00

Amazing

Voter Fraud...

2008-10-30T14:07:00.001-04:00

Just a warning as we head into the election next week — any voter fraud you commit will be prosecuted in West Virginia.

We hope the other 56 or 57 states follow suit, too.

Does It Test My Faith?

2008-10-29T13:31:00.002-04:00

This is a response I gave via email to a guy who reads my blog... He asked if Tiffany's death tested my faith.

"Thanks for being sensitive about asking about my faith being tested, but I don't mind at all. Here's how I view it- you may choose to differ and that's OK. I'd love to hear back if you do- maybe I can learn something.

The girl who died, Tiffany, was reaching for her cell phone when she swerved and hit an oncoming car. (I won't get into it publicly on this blog how we know it).

About how this applies to my faith: I don't believe God caused it. I believe we live in a fallen, broken, flawed world. This world is not what God intended. Hurricanes, earthquakes, violence, rape, war and death are not God's intention. It happens because we have free will- the ability to make choices. And our choices always affect others. A guy who gets drunk and the drives into a family of four, killing them all, was responsible, but the family suffered the consequences. That's the nature of free will.

I believe this world is fallen because of free will- the entering of sin (thoughts, deeds, actions outside of God's will for us) into the world.

Tiffany made a choice- a mistake- took her eyes off the road and swerved into oncoming traffic. God didn't cause it. He could have intervened miraculously and saved her, but he didn't. From our perspective, Tiffany died way too young. From God's perspective, we all die. The only issues are when and where we go when we do. Who knows what Tiffany will never get to experience- good AND bad. But I found out today that she'd come to faith in Christ and I believe- not just empty words, I really believe- she's in heaven.

That being said, I totally understand if you disagree. But thanks for asking.

The Mucuous Run of Coldness and Solitude....

2008-10-28T11:09:00.003-04:00

Sunday was a long day. I didn't rest. I continued to field phone calls and email messages until Sunday night. Then I stopped returning them. I helped my wife paint a bit. By Sunday night, I was ready to drop- and I had an oncoming head-cold and sore throat.

So Monday is my usual day off. I got up after not sleeping well and headed into my office to do some light admin work (update web page, organize the coming week, install program updates for PC Study Bible and WordPerfect). Spent about 4 hours in all. Feeling sickly, but the Mucinex helped a bit.

Upstairs, I had a voicemail. A 16-year old girl from my church died in a head-on on Route 24. Her mother is a single mom with health problems. She wants me to do the funeral. I tried to return the call, but her cell phone was off. At this point, I'm just heartsick. 16 years old...God, it's just so wrong.

Made some calls to notify people, got an update from someone who knew more info, sent out an email to our church group. I decided to do what I had planned on doing before getting sick- I put on my Walmart UnderArmour knock-off stretchy base layer long-sleeve shirt, my short-sleeve technical shirt, my regular running shorts and bal-go socks and worn-out Brooks Adrenaline GTS shoes, my Fleet Feet white light gloves and headed out the door.

Stopped at a store for a 1 Liter bottle of water to carry and 20 oz. Vitamin Water (Multi-V- lemonade flavor). Drank half the Vitamin Water, made a call or two on the way, changed my voicemail to reflect my "out of cell range" Cove status, then headed out of range.

Bennett Springs had people there- even though it was cold and breezy. I ran the road I hate to the Comet trailhead. Felt OK. I was running faster than I wanted for a distance run, but it felt good so...screw it- I'll just keep running.

Mouth dry, trying to ration my liter of water. Sips occasionally. Mark Driscoll sermon in my ear. I don't have to agree with everything to listen. That's how I get challenged to grow...

Stopped at the Comet, Tuk-a-Way, ...Forest sign to decide. Took ...Forest, both halves. I was feeling OK, but very dry. Kept drinking. My pace was way to fast for the distance. Should I drop the distance or the pace? Couldn't decide. Thought about Tiffany and her life ending. Pressed on. Thought about it again, tears coming down, running, angry, upset, sad, hurting for her mom. Pressed on.

By now, I had finished ...Forest (both halves), run Little Bell and was on Schoolhouse. The pine needles were thick on the ground in some places. The leaves were turning or had already turned. It was beautiful.

Near Vista Point on Schoolhouse, I hit a rock wrong and twisted my ankle. I came to a dead stop and hobbled a bit. Thought about Tiffany. Started running and the pain slowly worked it's way out. Yelled at God a bit. Cussed the situation. Prayed for my own son and my wife. Did very little listening to Driscoll. He was just a voice in the background.

The cold, breezy (windy at times!) day was perfect for a long run. Finished Schoolhouse, turned left on the gravel road filled with leaves and softly crunched my way towards Little Bell again in loop fashion. I switched to music and mentally let everything go. I continued to run fast and continued to run up steeper hills on the road. I hit Little Bell and took it to ...Forest and continued back through lower Comet, then the road. I was out of water and thirsty. My left ham felt a slight pull in it. I kept running. It was now close to 5 PM and feeling colder.

I finished at the parking lot, having run an hour, 39 minutes and 20 seconds (actual run time- I stop the watch for times when I stretch a bit). I had run a little more than 10 miles. Walked a little bit, stretched and drove towards home. The voicemail alert hit at the 419 intersect and startled me back to reality. Called the mom and talked briefly. We'll talk again today.

The cold was good for a run. The solitude was good for my head. The yelling, crying, cussing and anger were good for my soul. Nothing different than one of the Psalms of David. David yelled, accused God of leaving him alone, shouted, screamed, cried, prayed. I really prefer the authenticity of that to the plastic, everything's always wonderful and blessed Christianity of TV preachers and so many Bible Belt Christians.

In the end, life can be hard, it can be tough, it can just plain suck. There's pain and trials and heartache amidst the joy and peace and good times. We all go through those things- Christian, Buddhist, Hindu, Jew, etc. The only issue is how. I feel joy in the pain. Peace in the craziness of my life. Meaning and purpose in a life given to a church full of broken, flawed, messed-up people- of whom I am chief.

We'll bury Tiffany this week. She won't be the last, but she won't be forgotten. Her life counted. It mattered. And for now, that's enough.

So Much Stuff Going On...

2008-10-21T16:40:00.002-04:00

I was hoping to be out of the house today by 2(ish) PM. Yeah, it's almost 5 and I'm still working. Got Ukrop's group tonight, working on a new series in Philippians, sending emails and replying to some. Dealing with the current open projects: Beau's House, non-virtual Facebook Wall (church worship area, pic postings, info, prayer needs, etc), Children's Ministry issues (many issues!), follow-up on Ministry Fair, upcoming wedding, Dixie Caverns with youth Sat. night, Pumpkin carving Sat. day...

I've worked in some way on all of this today- some was more in-depth planning. Some was touching base or answering emails about it. But...staying way too busy.

Did take a break to find out that Docs are expensive and that I have a prostate infection. Oh, and that my doctor's fingers are waaaaay too big...

Was looking forward to touching base on some specific issues at our leadership meeting tonight, but it didn't work out so I won't be eating at BW's tonight. That's alright- it's all good.

Working out at the gym a bit (cheap rates- $10/month or $20/month, depending...). Ran 3 miles on the treadmill yesterday before heading home to family game night. Basketball, Sorry, just hanging out with the Fam is always good.

I want to run outside- it's great weather for it! And to ride my fat wheels. But...too busy to do much. I did hit Explore Park last week. Very nice run. Ended by running along the riverside, then up into the "forbidden" zones in loop fashion. BAD BRIAN!

Did ride once last week and fell pretty hard again on Birdsongbird trail. I swear, the trail hates me. Got some good bloody scabby stuff on my hip out of it. Unfortunately, my wife doesn't do sympathy. 'S OK, she's a keeper.

OK- back to work...

The Election...

2008-10-10T11:50:00.005-04:00

Yeah, the last post was designed to elicit a response and I wasn't planning on making any of my own views known. But...here's the quick skinny: I wasn't going to vote at all. I was planning on staying home and watching movies that whole day in protest.

Obama can't point to a single accomplishment in his career. None. He's flip-flopped more than a live fish on a hot pan. I can't think of a single issue that he's been consistent on. And his running mate is known as Mr. Credit Card. He's in the pocket of the credit industry so deep he's scratching their privates.

McCain, by contrast, is not a conservative and has never been one. He might be conservative socially, but that just reflects the culture in which he was raised. His "maverick" status is real- it just happens to usually be for the wrong things (think "illegal immigration," among others). I've been watching him since the early 2000's. It's funny to hear the media now say he's never been a maverick- they're the ones who gave him the name.

http://edition.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/07/06/bush.mccain/

http://www.mywire.com/a/AFP/Maverick-McCain-plays-both-sides/523415?extID=10051

And so many more...just google "maverick McCain" using the news, then pick archives. The very outlets that call him "no maverick" are the ones that used to refer to him that way. Friggin' ridiculous.

Yet McCain has been wrong on so many issues.

So we get Obama, the ACORN community organizer, Chicago crook (think "Rezco") with no experience ever running a single thing. Just spent his time voting "present" instead of ever taking a stand on any issue of substance. Well, he did make a speech once about a war.

OR John McCain, the oft-wrong maverick who has no clue how to fix anything. He's never been Bush's lapdog- they don't even like each other. But neither has he pointed the right direction for most of his life. Now he wants government to take over mortgages instead of allowing the economy to adjust for those who shouldn't have had a home in the first place.

Yeah, 2 blind mice. What a choice.

So...I watched the Rick Warren special and decided to vote. But, really, I'm just deciding between the mice and hoping the ditch one leads us into will be smaller than the one the other would have led us into. Considering the current economic crisis, my analogy is- of course!- flawed.

Current state: America is defeated without anyone ever having to defeat our military. They did it with the god we worship- "money." We can't go after Russia- the own too much of us. They've sunk huge amounts of cash into our mortgage markets. We can't do anything about China- they own us. We've been castrated.

And in the last 5 or more years, we've gone from having a safe food supply to having to worry about pet food, beef, chicken, jalapenos, baby foods and everything else. We import from people who couldn't care less about anyone's health. We've gone from purchasing what we can't afford to now having the bill come due as valuations become much more realistic.

Who can lead us out of this? Nobama. NoCain. 2 Blind Mice.

No matter what happens, at least some of the lyrics to the old "Who" song will probably apply:

We'll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the foe, that's all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain't changed
'Cause the banners, they all flown in the next war

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again
No, no!

I'll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I'll get all my papers and smile at the sky
For I know that the hypnotized never lie

Do ya?

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

There's nothing in the street
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Is now the parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I'll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around me
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I'll get on my knees and pray
We don't get fooled again

Trail Rash?

2008-10-08T14:00:00.005-04:00

I got on fat tires last week (mountain bike) at the Cove. Riding with a friend. Crisp fall air, beautiful clear day. It was amazing. My friend was time-constrained, so we didn't do much.

Hit 4-Gorges to start. What a fun trail! Up, down, up, down...well, you get the picture. I still freeze-up a bit when going downhill. I'm afraid of smacking my bald head into an ominously-deadly tree trunk.

After Gorges, we blazed down the fire road and I thought, "I can go fast. What's the worst that will happen?" So...what do you think happened?

NOTHING. Why are you always so negative, my friends? :-)

We then headed up Birdsongbird. I had been following Rodney to see if he'd take the log across one switchback or take the easy way. Before that happened, we hit a fast downhill turn. I took it fast and...yeah, not good. My front wheel went up on a bank (usually OK). But the bank was cut into and then came out sharply, which meant my front wheel came to a stop.

The momentum took my back wheel off the ground, into the air and I slammed hard into the ground sideways, then slid a bit. I laid there for a moment, feeling pain but not ready to move.

Amazingly, right at that moment, an angel appeared. She looked like Sarah Palin. She said, "Doncha worry, big guy. Everythin's gonna OK. John McCain and I have a plan to fix you." Then Joe Biden showed up. He looked like an angry old man who has had an eye-lift. In other words, he was himself. He said, "When Governor Palin was still in diapers, I was reaching across the aisles to work on all sorts of legislation to help fallen mountain bikers like you. And then I went to 7/11 to have yellow-skinned Indian people sell me a big gulp and a lottery ticket. But I'm no bigot- I'm on the ticket with Obama. I just like to plagiarize when I speak, but that's OK- Obama does, too. He's my daddy!"

I was feeling re-energized about my future. And then...John McCain showed up to give me a hand. I reached down and I took his hand, ready to be lifted off the ground and get back on my bike. Just as I began to feel myself pulled up, he let go and smiled. "Sorry," he said. "War wounds." He started talking about the war and my eyes glazed over. Finally, I caught on his last words...."And that's why I'm going to make sure the government buys back your broken bike mortgage and gives you a new one."

And with that, the dream was over. I shook it off, got up and got back on my bike. Rodney was waiting for me a couple of minutes down the trail. We took off from there, then finished the trail and headed back to the car. I have bruises all over my lower body and I'm still hurting, but that's OK...it was fun to get out there on fat tires again.

Now, based on that...who do I vote for and why?

Why Proper Diction is Important...

2008-10-06T18:18:00.002-04:00

This is for my friend Jen (and others): The song has to do with a letter with some major information in it, from what I can gather. The point of the video is that the singer is so garbled that you can hear almost anything in it... :-)

Learning to Read (Mountain)

2008-09-30T11:40:00.003-04:00

Worn-out yesterday (Monday). Took all day just to figure what where to run. Finally, left to go to Explore Park, but found myself at Walmart picking up a prescription, then back home. Finally, I gave up and decided to run/hike Read Mountain again.

It would be a short run, I figured, so I only brought a small bottle of water. And I wanted a good workout, so I ran way past the point of oxygen-debt before walking each time. I was tuckered-out halfway up and sweating bullets.

Made it to the top and decided to do some exploring. Headed towards town (I guess- it was to the left). Went downhill a lot. Found some "Boulder Point" set up in memory of student (I think). Finally, turned around and headed back up on the ridge. Then saw a downhill narrow fireroad on the opposite side from what I'd climbed. Very steep, very rocky. Took it, thinking I could come out at my church (www.LaymanChurch.com <---totally shameless plug). Anyway, after major downhill and sore quads, I came to a "Posted" sign and a gate with barbed wire around me. I could go no further.

Called the lady whose number was listed on the sign from my cell. She gave me permission to come down on her land- which would have put me on Old Mountain Road. I was already almost all the way down the mountain. I could run from there down Shadwell to Sanderson to Read Mountain and home. I'd be baked, but I'd be OK. I was already pretty toasty!

Came through the gate, latched it back and down the path a bit- a bull moved to block my path, staring at me. Another moved into postion. OH CRAP! Am I gonna get charged and lay bleeding and dying there? No way around, so I did the unthinkable- headed back up the very steep, rocky patch to the top of the mountain. Then down my side. By the time I finished, I was more than done for!

Lessons:
- Before heading down a steep path, make sure you can go all the way through
- Take more water, Brian, because you're an idiot and never do just a small, easy run
- Good move on the cell phone- carry it wherever you have service, dude!

Peace,
Brian

Brahahahahahahaha

2008-09-28T21:35:00.001-04:00

All-nighter, 14-miler, Growing Tuesday Night Group...

2008-09-24T10:40:00.003-04:00

Yeah, took the teens to an all-night lock-in at Liberty last Friday night. No sleep at all! Not very much fun, either.
- Events were canceled that our teens were looking forward to: ice-skating, paintball...
- Events were added that we weren't prepared for: swimming.
- Events were overpopulated so that most of us never got a chance to participate: rock band, karaoke.
- We waited outside for buses to take us places for probably a total of an hour and a half.
- We were told we'd have dinner taken care of, so we arrived hungry. The pizza party wasn't until 12:30 PM. We stood in line for 30-40 minutes before getting our 2 slices of cardboard-tasting pizza. Not good...

- Peggy helped me drive the kids down and David helped me get them back- 2 hours for each! Amazing people. I'm blessed to work alongside them.

Anyway, up all night, no sleep. Loved hanging with the teens- that was cool. Got to my car at 7:40 AM and someone had backed into it! Great. Really...just great. At least they left a note. Now I gotta get estimates and go without a car. Yeah, I have PLENTY OF TIME for that! Oh well...at least they left a note...

Very tired Saturday- came straight from Lynchburg to the church yard sale, but don't remember much. Then to Trent's soccer game. Then, finally, home by around noon.

Sunday was good, but I was still recovering. Little did I know, I wouldn't be 100% even by Monday.

Monday- weather looked like it would be cool and good for running. I didn't get to the Cove until 12:30 PM. It seemed warmer than I thought it would be. I strapped on the camelbak. I carried Powerade, but didn't have extra water or Powerade. I was planning on running 15-ish. Very "ish," because I knew I was tired.

First steps- yeah, I'm tired. Yeah, my legs don't have much juice. I'll try a little more. I'd hate to stop now.

At the Cove trails- I'm sweating more than I should.

Finished lower Comet at the 4-way sign- Dude, I'm really losing hydration. This ain't good.

Ran up Tuk-a-Way, most of the way, then turned around and ran out Comet to the big climb, then turned around. Feeling better now. Guess I stick to the plan. Dude, I'm gonna run out of water and Powerade.

Ran ...Forest, both halves. Ran Little Bell, Schoolhouse, turned right on the Fire Road and ran for a while. Then turned around and did it all backwards, except the Comet and Tuk extensions. Ran out of water, ran out of Powerade. Continued to carry the empty bottle- "leave no trace" at the Cove. Put it in the trashcan at the stables.

Totaled 14 miles, but I was spent. My calves were strained and I was feeling more like I'd done a full marathon. Oh well- at least I was out running! That's always a gift and a grace.

Tuesday night, 8:30 PM is our 20's-30's-aged discussion group at Ukrops, in the upstairs cafe. Very cool group- all sorts of differing perspectives, yet great tolerance and respect for all. We're meeting new people every week who are coming and enjoying it. If it continues to grow, we'll have to split to 2 groups. We can only do 12, max, before the group becomes too big to have good discussion.

JOKE: (get ready to hate on me)
Guy in a bar turns to a woman and says, "Hey, would you like to hear a blonde joke?"
Woman stands- she's 170 pounds of muscle, 6 foot 3, an amazon of a woman- and she's blonde. She says, "I'm here with my 2 friends." Both women stand. They're both huge, muscled, tall blondes. The woman says, "I'm a bodybuilder. Kara is a professional wrestler and Jaden is a black-belt in Karate. Are you sure you want to tell us a blonde joke?"
Guy says, "Not if I'm gonna have to explain it to all three of you!"

2nd Post of the Day...

2008-09-16T17:48:00.003-04:00

In the first post, I got high. Now I'm totally jacking someone else's blog entry!

From a guy named Leo Percer... (oh, and check out Jen's Bike Blog for a totally hilarious Sat. Night Live skit!). Personally, I didn't like the way Hillary was treated and I don't like the way Palin is being treated. The double standard totally sucks.

How the media covers female VP candidates . . .

National Review (September 29 edition). This note is about Sarah Palin and compares media coverage of her run for VP with similar coverage of a certain Geraldine Ferraro.

After Sarah Palin was nominated for vice president, and mauled by the establishment press, conservatives had the bright idea of seeing what the New York Times had written about Geraldine Ferraro, when she was nominated about 25 years ago. This is what the paper had to say on July 3, 1984: “Where is it written that only senators are qualified to become President? . . . Or where is it written that mere representatives aren’t qualified, like Geraldine Ferraro of Queens? . . . Where is it written that governors and mayors, like Dianne Feinstein of San Francisco, are too local, too provincial? . . . Presidential candidates have always chosen their running mates for reasons of practical demography, not idealized democracy. . . . What a splendid system, we say to ourselves, that takes little-known men, tests them in high office and permits them to grow into statesmen. . . . Why shouldn’t a little-known woman have the same opportunity to grow?”

I Got High!

2008-09-16T11:31:00.002-04:00

Yeah, you read that right. I got high. And it was a trip!

I woke up early Monday (yesterday) and had my normal Monday morning lag. Very busy day on Sunday, lots of new people to meet, taught youth, quickly went over order of service with David, the guest worship leader for the day, counseled with several people, commiserated with those who were hurting, celebrated with those who were doing well, made plans for the coming week- to meet with people at coffee shops (my favorite place to meet), then went home and made calls to follow-up with people, talk to those who couldn't wait around for me and a few who weren't at church. I answered emails, began working on an outline for the coming week's sermon, did some school stuff, played a game with my son and really wanted to nap- but didn't. Sundays are long days.

Monday's are low-energy days. This one was no different. I wanted to run because the weather was so perfect! I didn't make it out of the house till 2 PM. I headed out Cloverdale to a gas station where I stopped for coffee. I was feeling like I needed massive amounts of deep sleep. Which leaves me with 2 choices: sleep or java. I chose the path most traveled. And it made a difference.

Took off towards Carvin's Cove and then realized I'd forgotten my shoes! I was wearing sandals.... Crap! Had to drive to the Plantation Road exit, turn around and go back. By now, I was ready for a run. Dude, this totally bites! Time is now limited because my son has a soccer game and I had wanted a longish run (10 miles to 15 miles...).

Back home, I spent some time with my wife and son, then put on my shoes and decided to do something different. I drove to the Read Mountain trailhead not far from my house. Walked to the path and started running. Up, up, up hill.

Very steep, with sharply angled trails. I figured I'd get maybe 2 miles total out of this. But the further I went (having to hike parts of it rather than run- way too technical to run it all), the better the trails became.

In the end, I wound-up on top of Read Mountain. Dude, seriously, WTFrig??? It was incredible! Great views! I could see my neighborhood on one side, then walk over and look at the other side and see Hershberger, etc. I couldn't believe it. I ran on top for a while, then finally had to head down.

Downhill was tough- my right knee started complaining. And then, near the end, I took the wrong trail! Time was running out- I needed to get home and get showered. It was a steep downhill, very technical.

I came out on some street, not really sure where I was. Then I saw a Dynax building not far away and realized I was still in my neighborhood, but pretty good distance (mostly uphill) from my car. I just ran home, showered, ate and had my wife drive me to my car, then we dropped off her truck on the way to the soccer game.

What I'm most amazed by, is that I drive to trails regularly, yet there's one less than a mile from my house. The views are incredible and the upper trails are in great shape! I now need to run up my side and come down the other (then call my wife to come get me!). I think I can come down right at Layman Church (church I pastor). That would be cool!

I'll have to do this run occasionally, but not every time. Too steep and too angled. Man, though- what a great way to get into an altered state of consciousness. I can't wait to explore those upper trails some more!

OK- today's schedule is heavy. This is my 12-14 hour day. I won't get home till 11 PM tonight and I've been working since 8ish this morning. This blog update is a nice respite, but bald man gotta get back to work.

Peace,
Brian

Third Time's a...NOT....

2008-09-06T19:12:00.005-04:00

Yeah, decided to finally do the 20 mile run on Friday. After 2 false starts with computer problems and stomach problems, I was finally ready to go.

And then, after working at my computer Thursday all day, I got up to get ready for some meetings and my right foot was hurting. After about 2.5 hours of meetings, I got up from the table at Mill Mountain Coffee downtown and almost fell. I was in excruciating pain and couldn't hardly walk.

I continued on to Rhythm while debating about going home. Made it through the worship and Word and stood up and the pain was even more sharp. Got in the car and literally cried out. I figured I needed to go the hospital. Took off my shoes and felt for the pain origination point. It was above my instep arch, at a sharp bone. Just touching it sent me back into yelling.

Headed home, hoping to ride things out. Hadn't done anything to cause it that I could think of. At home, my wife had to help me walk. I could hop, but couldn't place ANY weight on my foot. I ate some soup so I'd have food in my stomach for the 2 Aleve I then popped. I iced the foot and lay on the couch til 2 AM, knowing I couldn't sleep because the pain wasn't stopping.

By 2, I could put a tiny bit of weight on it and used a walking stick to get to my bedroom. Slept well and when I woke up, it was much better. But...the run was scrapped.

Now I'm fine. Don't know what it was, but I don't want that screaming pain again. Anyway, no 20 miler yet. I probably need to go back to 15 or so and build back up.

I did run at 7 AM this morning in the rain before getting to the church at 8:30 for a work day. Didn't get home till 3:30 PM and I'm tired, but I have work to do!

OH well- I got to run on pavement for 4.7 miles. That was good.

Peace,
Brian

Third Time

2008-09-06T19:12:00.001-04:00

Heard in a Sermon while Running...

2008-09-03T17:52:00.002-04:00

I was out Tuesday morning for an Explore Park run...

Hoping to make it out Friday for that ever-elusive 20-miler. My right knee is in great pain- it hit me last night. Not sure why. But if I can get it back to normal by Friday and all the church emergencies abate, I may be able to take some time out for a good long run.

Here's what I heard in a sermon (mp3 player) while running yesterday morning related to facets of the Christian life:

Faith is attacked by the devil
Obedience is attacked by the flesh
Worship is attacked by the world

I'm still mulling it over. But yeah, I do believe in God and I do believe in an enemy who hates God and all things related to God. I do believe the flesh (sin nature) makes obedience very hard. And I do find that the world around me calls for my worship: material possessions, celebrities, ego, etc.

Anyway, that's what I heard that I took with me to think through and consider.

Again! Arrrrgggghh!

2008-09-01T14:31:00.003-04:00

Totally ready and psyched for my 20-miler today (Monday). Can't wait to work-up to a 30-miler (hopefully).

Quick Aside- Ran Saturday evening at the Cove (6.3 miles). As I turned on to the 2nd half of the now bifurcated E. Forest, I saw a guy out there with his dog. A few minutes later, I heard a yell. Didn't think much of it. Then I came to the second left turn that faces me back toward the fireroad and ran across a big snake! He was just laying there in the path. I used a stick to nudge him and he began to slither slowly off the trail. AND- he had 2 bumps in his tail! Fat tires had run across him!!!

OK- back to my story of "gloom, despair and agony on me. Deep dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all..." (From the old "Hee-Haw" days when I didn't have the good sense to watch something else and wasn't blessed with 60 channels of crap on the TV to choose from, to choose from, to choose from [gratuitous Pink Floyd reference]).

It hit me hard last night. My stomach began to gurgle. Then to churn. Then to just plain hurt like a snake with 2 bumps in his tail. Yeah, I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say that I did NOT vomit. Nothing happened in that direction. But every 20 minutes or so...

I didn't sleep much because...yeah, it ain't good.

Today, I knew I wouldn't be able to run. I was barely able to mow the yard and I'm burnt from the effort. It's all good, though. I'm happy and life is good. My son and wife are at the pool. I just didn't want to stray too far from the...um...the...powder room.

Long week ahead. Lots of stuff going on. I'd better spend some time praying. It empowers me and encourages me and centers me before I begin trying to minister to others.

Totally random question: Big Brother 10- who's gonna win it?

Peace,
Brian

Poker and Heaven and Snakes...

2008-08-31T08:06:00.003-04:00

I had planned a 20-mile long-run for Friday. Was looking forward to the effort and pretty sure I could pull it off. But...Windows Vista vacuums mightily!

On Thursday, I worked in my office for 10 hours straight. I upgraded my wife's laptop to Vista Service Pack 1. It went into an endless loop of installing and restarting. I found this out about 5 hours later when I went back to check on it. Couldn't break out of the loop- no help on the internet. Tried everything. Ended up staying up all night working on it.

Finally had to use a recovery disk, back up all her stuff (pics, music, email, etc...) to an external hard drive, then recover the computer to it's original, factory state. At that point, I had to go back in and restore all her info. Except, Vista wouldn't let me access the backed-up info. Spend 2 hours working on it (it was morning, now!).

Finally, after searching the net on a different computer, I found out that I had to take "ownership" of the backed-up files first, then copy and paste them back into the appropriate places! Vista biteth and ought to be put down like a rabid dog on crack.

So, got her computer up and running on Friday by afternoon, but no long-run for me. I could barely walk after sitting all night at the computer. Oh, and I had to reinstall network magic on her laptop, which locked my other computers (son's, my desktop and laptop) out of the network and off the internet. Took an hour to figure out her computer was causing the problem.

By 4 in the afternoon, I was finally finished!

Headed to the church-sponsored Texas Hold-em Poker game (at Layman Church). Had a great time. Raised a bunch of money for Beau's House- named after a teen who took his life and dedicated to making sure other teens don't make that same choice. We have a lot of work to do on this place, but for a poor church, we're making progress!

Didn't get to bed till late Friday night. Up in time for son's early soccer practice. Finally got a short run in at the Cove around 6 last night (very hot and humid!). But the 6.3 miles felt good. Saw another fairly big black snake on ...Forest. A guy ahead of me on a bike ran over it and when I came to it, I saw to big deformations on it, spaced close together. But it was alive, so I used a very long stick to prod it out of my way. Came hope tired, but content with the run.

Got a call late last night. A guy who (along with his wife) been coming to church for about a month and been very excited about what God's doing in his life died. He had liver problems and internal bleeding. Worked out of town and his co-workers found him in his trailer passed-out. He was out a hospital for a couple of days and kept flat-lining. Last night (Saturday), he died.

The wife is devastated, as you'd expect. They aren't that old- 40's or 50's. As a church, we'll be there for her and help her as best as we can. That's what we do. As for the guy...well, his faith was renewed at Layman. I'll see him again and, while I miss the opportunity to know him better, I will get to know him one day.

OK- time to get ready for church...

Peace!

2 Reposts from the Archives...

2008-08-27T00:55:00.001-04:00

His eyes twinkled, beaming excitement. His movements quick, pumped up. And the whole way there, he never stopped talking about all the inconsequential things that mean so much to him. His favorite video game. Why my favorite game is his second-favorite. How he's writing a song about a cat. How fun it was to hike the Cascades last year. And then pausing to hit the CD button and sing to Foreigner's "Cold As Ice" and Survivor's "High On You."

We arrived at Carvin's Cove around 5:20 PM. Lots of cars, minus bikes. Must be a lot of people out riding to make up for all that time lost after the fire. I gave last-minute instructions. "We're not running fast, but far. Runners have to know the difference, esp. in training." I took him down the trail about 10 feet. "You see all these rocks and these tree roots?" A quick head shake. He was hyper-aware, paying attention to everything I said. "You have to keep your eyes on the trail at all times. It's very easy to twist an ankle or fall and get hurt." Another head shake. "And the trail is narrow, so we won't be running beside each other, but with one in front and other behind. I'll lead off, OK?"

We started off slow. Almost immediately, he began talking again. Excited to be out with Dad doing what Dad loves so much. Excited to be included. Invited, even.

I continued to share tips and remind about watching the trail. We took the Ho trail out. Technical, but flatter and easier than HiDeeHo to Four Gorges. We came to a stream crossing. I looked for ways across, but the log was our best option. I went, then he did. Honestly, he was less shaky than I was. One fall in the water for him and the run would be over.

I reminded him over and over again about the possibility of falling if he didn't keep focused on the trail in front of him. About 6/10's of a mile in, I heard the fall. I turned to hear and see the crying. No shame in it. More people ought to without fear of embarrassment. I helped him up and hugged him close. Looked at his knee and his hands. Scraped, but no blood. He wanted to stop. I didn't want to end it like this.

So we sat for a moment and I asked him to listen to the quiet. We shared a moment of silence. I asked him if he knew why I liked trail running so much. I told him about the silence, the peace, the enjoyment of God's creation. I could have continued about the joy of self-challenge, the fun of discovering new places, feeling like a kid all over again by jumping logs and taking twists and turns in the woods. But that would come later.

I asked him if he knew why I'd invited him to come with me. "Because we have a 5K coming up?" Maybe a little, but why this run? Why today? He didn't know. I held his gaze and paused. I wanted him to get this. I said quietly and firmly, "Because I love running trails and I love you with all my heart. You're a gift from God. I've wanted to share the trails with you for a long time. And I just really wanted to spend time with you today."

We took a moment and prayed. We thanked God for the day, for the weather, the gift of running and the beautiful nature surrounding us. Then we got up and continued on. He found a little dot of blood on his knee and his hand. But part of being a man is knowing when to shake off the pain. So we ran. We returned and had only done about a mile and a half. He was disappointed. He'd wanted to do three.

In the truck on the way back, we talked about biking the Cove and taking the whole family to the Cascades in the summer. I saw the Battleground trail at 311 and 419. I asked my son if he wanted to try that for a minute or two. I'd never been on it. Unhestitatingly, "yes!" Was he sure? "Oh yes!"

We parked and we ran. Before it was over, he was telling me how much fun it is to challenge yourself. He was jumping over logs and telling me about how doing that must make me feel like a kid again. Very perceptive kid. We both enjoyed exploring an unfamiliar trail. In the end, we ran a total of 3 miles and had a blast doing it.

Afterwards, Taco Bell. I mean, c'mon, we earned it. Two warriors against the forces of nature, fighting nobly and beating our tired legs and aching lungs into submission. I hope we go again soon. I've had a number of running partners. I have one son.

I think about my son and my love for him and I wonder, how could God have given his? Watch him spat upon, beaten and mocked, spinning him in circles and laughing. "Prophesy, Messiah- who was it that hit you this time?" Plucking out his beard. Ripping the outer lay of flesh off his back, flaying it open. Jamming a crown of 3-inch thorns into his skull. Putting the robe on the freshly opened back. Kneeling down in derision and crying, "O King!" Nailing him to a cross, naked and bleeding. Letting him hang there, pushing up against that raw back for every breath, the nails in his heels sending piercing waves of pain throughout his body. While people below wagged their heads at him, the ancient equivalent of flipping him off. Either God is a monster worse than Hitler. Or he loves me with all his heart and wanted to make a way for me to have a relationship with him.

"This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased." Sounds like a Father to me. One who loves me enough to give his Son for me. Who loves me enough to love me exactly as I am and loves me too much to let me stay as I am. Instead, in Christ, I am set free to become all that God created me to be. That's the lifelong process of following Jesus. Yeah, I'll serve him. It'd be a privilege.

I worked hard today. I was overjoyed to run with my son. Tomorrow, I'm back to working hard. Dad has surgery on Wednesday of next week. Trip bypass and valve work. Mom is moving to a new nursing home tomorrow. And, yep, I need to go help her get there. But for today...I ate the bread of gratefulness at being able to run with my son. And that's enough. Bread for today, man. Bread for today.

2nd Repost:

7 things that will destroy me:

1)wealth without work

2)pleasure without conscience

3)knowledge without character

4)commerce without morality

5)science without humanity

6)worship without sacrifice

7)politics without principle

WW'tJD?

2008-08-26T19:29:00.002-04:00

A Haiku

2008-08-25T22:34:00.002-04:00

Haiku's are easy
Though some do not make sense
Refrigerator

(totally stolen from someone else...)

You can do it, get your back into it...

2008-08-24T08:36:00.004-04:00

Friday, Noon- just arrived at the Cove. Stashed extra water and powerade, then drove back to the parking lot. Strapped on my camelbak, turned on my mp3 player to a message on spiritual warfare, punched the button on my watch and took my first running step and quickly ground to a painful halt. My back (upper left, inner lat) was in excruciating pain. I literally could not move. Stood for a minute and prayed. Tried to move again and the pain was barely there. Dare I chance another running attempt?

I did, and found no pain at all. Strange. Mind-over-matter? A God thing? Gas? OK- not the last one. Anyway, I continued with my planned long run. I wanted to run at least 12 and do some hill work on a long run.

I just found out I can't run the Douthat half-marathon in September because I'm taking youth to an all-night lock-in that weekend (Friday-Saturday). Unfortunately, that's also the weekend of the Smith Mountain Lake triathlon. So both of those are out :-( That's OK- I love my job and it's a privilege to serve.

Anyway, I ran Comet, ...Forest (both halves), Little Bell, Schoolhouse, then ran the fire road to Arrowhead. Ran Arrowhead and did well on the climbing. Then back through 1/2 Forest, Comet to near the road where I'd stashed my extra water (I was dry by now) and my extra Powerade (also dry).

Replenished, I headed up Brushy Mountain to 4 Gorges and took it to the parking lot. I did walk a few of the ascents because my goal distance was accomplished and the heat was getting to me. I did run a total of 13.5 miles. Drove back to my stash of water and empty powerade and put it in the car before heading off to work.

Notes:
- very dusty out there- gimme some water on those trails!
- leaves are already starting to fall (even more at Explore Park)
- I gotta get out earlier- the heat is killer for running long runs
- I love music. It speaks to me. But sacrificing the songs and listening to Mark Driscoll has been very challenging (I don't agree with everything, but his sermons are very "meaty" and I'm learning and being challenged to re-think things. That's why I choose friends who see things differently that I do- they challenge me. I want to keep growing. And I always respect our differences. It's a good thing!).
- My back is now totally jacked-up, so maybe it wasn't a God-thing...
- 13 miles no longer seems like a very long distance
- I'd like to do 20 next week, with an eventual goal of 30 miles (or 5 hours actual running time). That means it will be my whole day off. I'll have to see if I can manage that.

Peace,
Brian

I Once Was Lost...

2008-08-19T15:30:00.003-04:00

Cost of gas plus increasing cost of goods and services= more day-cations and less vacations.

Left Sunday night (6:30 PM) and drove to Doswell, VA. We were heading to a new , cheap hotel. It has only been open 3 weeks. Which was cool- cuz everything smelled and looked very new.

I've been to King's Dominion many times. Yet, as I was driving (Sunday evenings I'm usually exhausted anyway), I got lost. I missed the exit for 64 and stayed on I-81. I think it was the huge, unbroken line of trucks to my right. I couldn't see any signs over there at all. And I was deep in thought after having several long, work-related cellphone calls in the car. So...I drove to a college town and realized my mistake and had to drive 35 miles back to Staunton, placing us more than an hour behind.

My wife watched a DVD with my son on his portable unit and I listened to Mark Driscoll podcasts. And then...I almost missed the cutoff for 295. My wife caught me just in time. YIKES!!!! Then I missed the cutoff to 95. What in the world? Rectified it and finally made it to our Days Inn room.

We'd decided to go the night before so we'd be rested and ready to go in the morning. Good choice! Otherwise, we wouldn't have made it to the park until Noon or later the way I was driving!

King's Dom was great. The people are much friendly now that Cedar Parks has taken over. Very clean, not too many crowds and just a great time. God was very good to me and I was not so preoccupied as I rode rides and hung out with my family. We did coasters and then did water stuff and then back to coasters. I did ride the new Stunt Coaster and the Dominator. OH- the Crypt rocked!!! Dominator- dude, awesome!

We left when the park closed at 8 PM, tired and happy. My son rode rollercoasters, something he hasn't done much of. Not all that I rode, but enough to take some risks- which is good. Life is a risk. Got home around Midnight. I spent an hour returning emails, then laid awake for 2 hours before finally taking a sleeping pill.

When we were in the wave pool, my son was splashing me. I asked him to stop, but he didn't. So I splashed him goodnaturedly. He felt like he couldn't breathe, became angry and started swimming away and then walking away. I followed while my wife waiting in the pool. He said, "Let me go. Leave me alone." I caught him and told him there were 2 things he needed to know about me that are also true of God: Love forgives and Love pursues. He should have forgiven me. And I would always forgive him- no matter what. Secondly- love always pursues. We don't just let people walk away feeling wounded, angry, bitter, whatever... Even if it's their fault, we pursue. And in so doing, we mirror the love of our God. I will always pursue him with love and reconciliation- no matter what he does or the choices he makes. He's my son- that never ends. God does the same with us.

Love forgives- God does, I should. Love pursues- God did, I will.

The Park was good. Church is growing and I'm very busy. So I thank God for a day away to invest in my family.

Now it's on!

2008-08-16T21:56:00.003-04:00

OK...I've been suffering from Electile Dysfunction: The inability to get excited about either presidential candidate. I'd decided to stay home on election day and watch several rented movies. These 2 guys were 2 of the 3 final blind mice.

I just finished watching the Rick Warren Q & A with both candidates. One "ah'd" and "um'd" his way through, not passionate, decisive or even really engaging. The other was decisive, quick, intelligent and totally engaging. Humorous, even. Not it's on. I'm voting. Not even a question. No, it's not about the personality. Or the performance, but the convictions on issues about which I mostly agree.

2 fat tires- 1.5 hours tonight. I snuck away to the Cove. Birdsongbird, 1/2 ...Forest, Little Bell, Schoolhouse, Arrowhead, other 1/2 ...Forest, Comet back to truck.

Haven't been riding, so it was not fast, but it was decent. Came home and rode a bit with my son. Played soccer as one of 3 adults against my son's team in a scrimmage this morning. Lots of sprints. I'm tired. Long day. Can't wait to see my peeps tomorrow at the gathering of the faith community.

Peace,
Brian

18 miles...

2008-08-13T16:59:00.002-04:00

Ran today because it was cooler outside and I'm busy on Friday.

Basics of the Long-Run Map: Cove from Bennet Springs. Pavement to Comet, up Tuk-a-Way and then up to upper Comet, then down Comet (not fun), back to four-way sign, then ...Forest (both halves), Little Bell, Schoolhouse, fire road back to Little Bell, then back to 1/2 Forest (out of water), fire road back to gate (where I'd stashed water- refilled camelbak and got another Powerade to carry), then Comet to ...Forest. Most of ...Forest, then back the way I came, pavement to parking lot. ~ 18 miles= 3 hours.

Notes:

- I thrive in cooler weather. This run included some decent climbing (top of Comet is way up), yet it was easier for me than the half-marathons I've run at Virginia Beach. I lose too much water/electrolytes and don't handle heat well (even after trying acclimate).

- No snakes around (or bears, near as I can tell), but plenty of drunk wasps/bees/whatever (stingy things). They buzzed like it's fall and they're drinking fermented juice (which will happen in the fall).

- Heard 3 sermons while running- all incredibly good and challenging. I love Mark Driscoll- 1 hour (or more) sermons that are so content-heavy they really make me think and help me as I continue to form my worldview from a biblically-based model. Last sermon ended just as I hit the parking lot. Excellent timing- thanks Lord!

- Not many people out today, so I gathered a few spiderwebs myself.

- I hate running down Comet- too pitted and too steep to be fun. But I liked the change in scenery from my previous long runs. Maybe I need to do Ho and Buck Run up to the top, then run the fire road? That would be tough on a long-run, though.

- The owner of "Just the Right Gear" runs really fast with no water and no shirt. The guy's in amazing shape. Saw him as I was refilling my camelbak.

- We need lots of rain. Had expected some while I was out, but...alas...no such luck.

- I haven't run since my 12-miler on Friday. This is Wednesday. No wonder I felt fairly fresh.

- Next week= 12-miler followed by 20-miler the week after that? Hmmm...

OK- time to rest, then work more....

Peace out,
Brian

Jesus was not a leader...

2008-08-09T16:40:00.004-04:00

Every now and then, I run across a book or receive literature for a conference on "The Leadership Principles/Characteristics of Jesus." Sounds great, right? Started a religion that spread across the known world and is still impacting lives today. The only problem is that Jesus was NOT a leader. Not in the modern sense of the word.

These books take modern corporate CEO principles and try to place them upon a man who lived 2,000 years ago. And it becomes an exercise in silliness. So, in that same vein, I present my own list of "Christ's Leadership Principles":

- Jesus hired men who were ill-qualified, who argued over position in the company and even one who worked with a competing company, stabbing Jesus in the back (so to speak).

- Jesus focused precious time and resources upon those who could not and would not have any direct benefit for himself (lepers, prostitutes...even Peter's mother-in-law- though he did get dinner out of that one!).

- Instead of making alliances with those in the same industry in order to improve productivity, Jesus pissed them off by publicly humiliating them and calling them names ("whitewashed tombs, sons of hell, hypocrites, blind guides, fools, serpents and vipers" to name a few!).

- When employees tried to impress Jesus by performing above the current standard, instead of showing appreciation, Jesus raised the bar (Matthew 21:18-35).

- Jesus rebuked his employees in public (Mark 9:14-19).

- Instead of using the "One Minute Manager" model (apparently He'd never read that book!), Jesus spoke in fuzzy terms and told stories that often confused his employees (Matthew 16:5-12, among many others).

- Jesus disappointed his most ardent customers and best friends (John 11:1-6).

- Jesus never gave corporate image one single thought. He rode into Jerusalem that last time (with huge crowds watching) on a friggin' donkey.

- At the height of his mega-church popularity, Jesus pissed off everyone and they all left him and went home (John 6, especially verse 66).

- When in trouble with the government, Jesus refused to cooperate and say the things that could get him released.

In the end, Jesus was not a leader. And those who think he was are forming Jesus into their image instead of allowing Jesus to form them into his image. You can build a big church with "Christ's Principles for Leadership." But...unless the Lord builds the house, the laborers work in vain.

Jesus was not a leader, but a Savior. And those who believe only in modeling their lives after Jesus' example miss the point. Our primary need is not for an example to follow, but for payment for our sin. Otherwise, Christianity just becomes about outward acts of morality rather than an inward change of heart.

OH- by the way- a guy I know listed the 10 Commandments of Jesus. One of them was, "Thou shalt yell at Pharisees (religious people) and call them names." I had to smile at that one...

Peace,
Brain

PS- Ran 12 miles yesterday. Didn't have any food in my stomach and no powerade/cliff bars, etc, with me. The last mile sucketh mightily (King James Version). But...I made it.

Jesus has a sense of humor...

2008-08-03T22:58:00.001-04:00

Sixteen ain't legal...

2008-08-01T16:31:00.002-04:00

Had it all planned. But...slept 3 hours Wednesday night and only got 6 last night (Thursday).

(Note to self: quit whining about not sleeping. Just say, "Yada yada" and leave it at that. People already get it- you have insomnia. God, Brian- you're putting THEM to sleep talking about it!)

Hung out with a new friend from church Thursday night. Last minute, he wanted to eat Mexican. No, not Mexicans. That would just be weird.

We went to El Toreo. I had planned on eating mostly bland brown rice and fat-free refried beans at home. But instead, I ate greasy-good chips, salsa, burrito AND rice and beans. I was now worried. Early runs with the runs would not be fun. Runner's Diarrhea is a real thing. And it ain't real fun.

Needed to get up early. Today would be hot. I was tired from yada yada, so I was moving slow. Had to hit Kroger for a gel, a cliff bar and a pre-run powerbar. I didn't make it to the Cove and begin running till 10:30 AM. And it wasn't cool outside.

Ran down the road to Comet. Took Comet all the way to the big climb, then turned around. Then took Tuk-a-Way on up to the trailhead, then turned around. I had now down some climbing and I was sweating bullets only 6 miles into the run.

I was carrying a powerade (poured into the more tactile-friendly gatorade bottle). And I had water in my camelbak. I was trying to drink enough yet leave enough for the whole run. Hard to calculate all that!

Ran ...Forest (both halves), then on to Little Bell and Schoolhouse. Watching for snakes and bears and trying to keep my running slow. The heat was killing me. I finished Schoolhouse, turned to the left and ran on the Fire Road for a while, then turned around and headed back.

I could feel the switchover from sugar- burning to fat-burning pretty strongly. My breathing was heavily labored and it took all I had to keep going. I was going uphill at the time.

Retraced all my steps except for the Comet and Tuk-a-Way extensions. I had left distance that could be walked on the road for about 1/2 mile and I did. Finished at 16 miles (2 hours 40 minutes).

But...I ran out of water at 13 miles. Those last 3 were tough. I cramped a bit, but not bad. Changed clothes, moving slowly and spouting sweat everywhere.

I've now done 16 miles for the long run. Step down next week to 12, then go 18, hopefully. I need to get out earlier and probably get some lava salt tabs. 16 in the heat just shouldn't be legal!

Fun, though. And I feel like I've accomplished something. OK, back to rehydrating!

A Tangled Web...

2008-07-29T19:05:00.002-04:00

Yesterday (Monday) was my usual day off. Wife needed something from a store on Franklin Road. So...I got on the road bike and hit the Parkway. It was sunny and warm outside, but I felt great. Didn't take water with me- should have. But I was OK.

Parkway/460 on up to the Star. Stopped for water inside the building near the zoo. Then on up to look out over the Valley briefly before zooming down quickly, headed to RMH and then Franklin to the store.

Came back via downtown and back roads to Bonsack area. 37 miles in 2 hr. 43 minutes. Not fast, just fun.

Today is a standard work day. So I set the alarm early and got up and worked. Then I packed my gym bag, laptop and tools and headed to Explore Park. Didn't plan on running much because of the previous day's ride. Instead, I felt great and ran the whole 6-miler, steep and long hills (outer loop) and all.

The thing about trails where hardly anyone goes: lots of spider webs get built up. I ran through so many I thought my arms would be stuck to my sides. My legs were covered in them. Dead bugs hung off my body. Yeah, lots of big fun! But...on the way back, no problems man!

Finished, drove to Zoom and showered. Argued politely and briefly with a traffic cop about what a sign said for parking. He was nice and gave in. Hit MMC@T (Mill Mountain Coffee and Tea) for several more hours work. Saw my parents. Wanted to see Gordon, but when I called he was talking to his sister in Michigan on the other line and I didn't want to bug him.

Went to the church to check on the pews we're selling (6 of them). Have a guy who wants 2. I needed to know how hard it would be to remove the engraved plates on them. Wasn't bad.

Home, dinner. Talked to David, Jr. (heart transplant guy). It was great to reconnect. Can't wait to see him again. He starts driving in August and will be at church August 15.

Right now...I'm learning about spiritual disciplines. Solitude, meditation (not emptying my mind, but filling it), study, prayer, celebration, simplicity and more. I'm loving it. I feel...revitalized spiritually. Excited and enthused even. It's great to center even more on the God I love so much.

Peace!

LSD is hard on the body...

2008-07-27T08:34:00.002-04:00

Not much time to write. Quick summary...

Did an LSD run at the Cove on Friday (Long, Slow, Distance). I was worried because of the temps forecast for the day and I didn't start running till 10 AM. But the humidity was low, that made all the difference.

I was going for 15 miles. Route: Down the paved road, took Comet way out till almost where it begins to climb the mountain, then turned around and took it back to the 4-way sign. Took Forest and got my feet totally soaked (great way to start a 15-er!). From Forest to Little Bell to Schoolhouse, then left on Fireroad to Arrowhead. Didn't take Arrowhead, but doubled back. Returned the same way, except for the Comet extension. At the 4-way, I took Comet back to the road and the road back to the lot.

Observations/Facts
- Total time on my feet running: 2 hours 30 minutes. Might have been less than 15 miles (or a tad bit more), but I'm not sure. I did, however, hit my goal time.

- Didn't have salt tabs and wish I had. Low humidity saved me.

- At half a powerbar before starting, half a cliff bar at the 8 mile mark, took a cliff shot with caffeine at the 12 mile mark.

- Used all my camelbak water just as I finished the run. Carried a gatorade bottle with me but only drank half. Too tough on my stomach.

- Continually reminding myself to slow down helped.

- Both knees ached by the end of the run.

- I felt better after this run than I did after the 10- and 12-milers.

- Saw no snakes or bears- until leaving. BIG black snake on the road on the way out.

- Wife has no idea what a trail long-run is. Like a pavement, only harder! She wanted me to cut the grass and take my son to the pool when I got home. I wanted to take a bath and lay on the couch and recoup. This time, I did what I wanted- my body wouldn't agree to anything else.

- Having a day off was nice. It was the first one of the week!

- Left knee very sore on Saturday. Had planned an early ride to downtown via the Best Buy greenway with family. Did it and it actually helped the knee.

- Next week...16 miles??

Quick...Rush...

2008-07-22T12:04:00.003-04:00

Not much time to write right now. Waaaayyyy too much to do. Very busy week ahead.

Anyway, after much debate and going back and forth because of events in Roanoke, I decided to go ahead with my original plans to see Rush in concert in Charlotte Sunday night. My friend Steve and I left around 1:30 PM after church.

The drive up was mostly uneventful. We began an unfruitful search for Sonny's Barbecue once we hit Charlotte. After much travel and no luck, we finally settled on Bellacinos. Not bad- just not what I wanted.

The Pavilion was packed out! Lots of guys with their sons were there. The crowd was psyched- you could feel it in the air. OH- the air- 95 degrees at 6:30 PM! Our seats were under the covered Pavilion. But the son was setting and directly on our backs and heads. Yeah, we baked.

The band was scheduled to come on at 7:30 PM and didn't go on till 7:50- not bad according to most concert standards.

Lots of beer was being consumed, yet the crowd stayed very friendly, sedate and non-R-rated throughout (unlike Jen's concert experience). They even had beach balls in the air for most of the event.

Rush had no opening act. They played for almost 3 hours! And it was the best concert I've ever attended (and I've been to some concerts...). Rush cared about the fans- they played some new stuff to promote the CD, but they also played tons of the fan favorites from the older catalogue. Trees, Red Barchetta, YYZ, Witch Hunt, 2112 and more.

They had videos, lazer show, pyrotechnics, light show, smoke and onstage visuals. At one point, a dragon breathed fire on the video screen and the stage lit up with fire. Rush even mocked themselves with South Park video clips.

But the real issue was this: the band rocked! The musicianship was excellent. I was blown away. Rush is a musician's band. The drummer is the best in the world, from what I hear. Steve was a great guy to go with. I'm glad he went- and I think he was able to enjoy and relax and take his mind off things a bit while there as well. I don't spend a lot of money often-but that concert was worth every penny.

Home around 3:30 AM, sleep by 4:30 AM. I'd had 4 hours sleep on Saturday night. I got the same Sunday night. Then up on Monday morning to do some work, off to a funeral at 11 AM, a house blessing (my first) and work before collapsing at home.

OK- out the door to run/work/meet with and call.

Mea Culpa, I was Wrong and other Words of Turncoat-ism...

2008-07-09T20:09:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I blogged about Planet Fitness (<-----Link here) a little over a month ago. I mocked, ridiculed, derided and otherwise made fun of the gym. They eject members for wearing do-rags and grunting while lifting weights or dropping weights in the gym. I mocked their motto, "The Judgment Free Zone."

So, today I was out on the bike rather than driving, since I save gas that way. I rode, by the way, 2:40 time and 37 miles. On the way back home, I rode by Towers and there was Planet Fitness, signing people up. They don't open until September. I went to the upper parking lot and saw a sign on a truck: $10/month, no commitment.

Crap! I gotta get in on this! Called the wife, asked if she was interested. Nada. I'm paying $20/month right now at Zoom downtown to use the showers for when I run and bike and then have meetings with people- saves on gas not having to go all the way back home. And I want to go back to lifting weights.

Talked to the guy doing pre-sales. He's the owner dude. I...well...I...um....(gulp!)...I joined. No headrags for me when working out. Not anymore. Oh well...

Joined at the $20/month rate. That way I get free tanning and free shiatsu massage chair time. And I can bring a guest with me every day, even the same guest over and over. I just have to be on the property while they work out.

So- mea culpa. The cheap rate got me! Oh, and I got a nifty black and purple shirt and really neato "Planet Fitness" sticker for my car. God, what a sell-out I am!

But...I'm a sell-out who ran 12.5 miles and cycled 27 miles so far this week!!!

Peace,
Brian

Bears aren't for hugging, snakes aren't bunnies...

2008-07-07T18:04:00.003-04:00

Planned a long run at the Cove for my day off today (Monday). Weather report looked perfect. As usual, calls and emails kept me from making it to the Cove until early afternoon. (Note to self: One day, I need to look up the meaning of "day off.")

Started from the lot at Bennet with my Camelbak full of water. It was heavy and I hated having it. Little did I know that it would be empty by the time I'd finished my 12 1/2 miles.

I felt good on the trails. Picked a slow pace (LSD= Long, Slow, Distance. Slow is a key part of that. Otherwise, you risk injury).

Took Comet to ...Forest and did all the ...Forest. I was scanning for snakes the whole time, but relaxed and enjoying the run. There were 3 cars in the lot when I left. I doubted I'd see anyone today.

After both halves of ...Forest, I ran Little Bell and began Schoolhouse. I hadn't paused at all so far and I was still feeling really good. Ran about 1/2 Schoolhouse and passed a couple of guys changing a tire. They were fine and I moved on. Later, they came past me and stopped to ask if I'd seen the huge angry mother bear.

I hadn't and they couldn't believe it. She was snorting and moving her head side to side, looking less than happy about intruders. Great! I needed to go back that way in a little while.

I'd been so busy looking for snakes that I must have run right by the bear (headphones in ears, too). So, I began looking down, then sweeping up to see if bears were around.

On the way back, I was looking up and almost ran into a big black snake smack-dab in the middle of the trail. I threw sticks at him, hoping he'd leave. Apparently, snakes aren't bunnies who hop away at the slightest provocation. Finally, I took a stick and ran around him with the stick near him to guard my gorgeous legs :-)

Finished the run hyper-aware, no music, listening to the threatening storm. But...over 12 miles! Next week, easy week, then on to 15 miles, hopefully!

Peace,
Brian

Thursday, Friday, Saturday...

2008-07-05T23:12:00.002-04:00

Worked hard on Thursday, trying to catch up on stuff I'd missed on vacation.

Then tried to run in the neighborhood. Terrible run- felt tired, out of breath, hurting. Realized that I had climbed way up in just a mile or so. Didn't catch that at first. Till I got to the top and looked down. Tried running Read Mountain trail. The run wasn't good- 2.5 miles total.

Quick shower and over the Salem Fair for 1/2 price tickets. Stood in line for 45 minutes to get in. Rode all the scary, thrilley stuff. Even the X-treme claw-swinging thing. My son and wife had a great time as well, though more subdued than me in their riding choices! 5 and 1/2 hours at the fair. I was fried.

Every year on July 4th (Friday this year), I run the Shawsville 5K, then bike back from Shawsville to Roanoke after running as hard as I can in a race. It's hot, I'm dehydrated, but I love the challenge. This year, I forgot about it!!! I'm bummed. I would have kept the tradition alive.

Instead, I made it to Explore Park, after working a bit, for an awesome 5.5 mile run. Loved every minute of it. Then headed to jail to see one of my teens from church who was just taken in. She's scared- this could be good for her. But I feel sorry for her, too. Then, Red Robin so my wife could collect her free burger for her birthday. Finally, home to watch Vantage Point DVD.

Saturday, wife's birthday. Out to find fireworks for the kids to do at church on Sunday. Then picked up ice cream cake at Brusters (chocolate raspberry truffle) and back home to wrap gifts. Pizza for lunch, cake and gifts. Lots of fun. Parker's Seafood for dinner- not good. Oh well, finished Vantage Point and I'm ready for sleepy time.

Peace,
Brian

Sunday, Monday, Wednesday...

2008-07-02T19:34:00.002-04:00

Biked Sunday morning. Enjoyed it and had coffee at the new Mill Mountain Coffee downtown before heading home. Nice place! Attended Villa Heights Church...

Monday, I wanted to do a long-run at the Cove, lower trails. Stopped by Just the Right Gear on the way. Guy at the counter said he'd stopped running the Cove for now. Me- "Why?" Him- "Lots of snake sightings. Mainly rattlers and cottonmouths." Oh...great!

I wasn't feeling like a run and my quads were tired from the bike ride (whine, whine, whine). Anyway, I almost talked myself out of it. But go I did, my preciousssssss. (Yikes, I'm channeling Yoda AND Gollum!).

I ran the road to Comet and ran Comet with my eyes sweeping back and forth among all the branches, wondering if I might not see the snake in time! I ran 1/2 Forest, but not the second part. The guy at the store had said a lot of the snakes were in Forest because of all the downed trees. Then I ran Little Bell, Schoolhouse and some of Happy Valley before reversing course and running back. About 6 miles into the run and 4 miles from the car, I got hit!!!! No, not a snake.

Dare I say it? No, I'll just put it this way- gastrointestinal problems. There's a name for it: Runner's Dia... Nevermind. I debated finding a log without snakes around and wiping with leaves. I was about to do so when I looked up from the trail in time to see a biker heading my way- a girl. Yeah, my relieving my pain would leave scars. She could be blinded by such a vile sight and never see again!

So, I ran with butt puckered. And it hurt. The run was miserable. I made it to the car, thinking about the pizza I'd had for dinner (I'm lactose-intolerant. Bigoted towards lactose, actually. I believe lactose should go back to where it came from! And it was trying to do just that for 4 miles of my 10 mile run).

So, made it home, feeling very weak and hurting. Exploded at home. Then had to go to the pool to relieve my wife as she went grocery shopping and I watched my son. What a day!

Tuesday= anniversary. "Wanted" movie and Abuelos for dinner.

Wednesday- I rode my bike to the coffee shop downtown today and read a book for class and worked on Sunday's stuff a bit. I'm technically on vacation today, too, but I worked anyway. Good ride. No snakes and my stomach felt fine, so I'm ahead of Monday's game! Hoping to run Explore Park tomorrow and bike early on Friday. Mom and Dad still need help with stuff here and there, so...best laid plans...

Totally Quick Post from Beach Trip...

2008-06-28T11:38:00.002-04:00

Yeah- that's right, I said it! I went to the BEACH!!!!!

Priceline.com for very cheap tickets, placed into a 3 star hotel (Sheraton Hotel and Conference Center). .3 mile from the beach (walking distance).

Quick trip- left Wednesday around 10 AM. Stayed through Friday, checked out of hotel at noon and left Broadway at the Beach area around 7:30 PM.

Home late. Tired, but off tomorrow from church! I'll miss 'em, but I'm happy to have some time off. Probably go for a road ride early (weather permitting!), then visit a different church. The one at the theater at Valley View (www.journeyconnection.com) has a rocking band. I'll never forget Easter, listening to Skynyrd's Free Bird and that other song, Free Ride! How friggin' cool!

Brian...out!

Long Runs are Back!

2008-06-21T11:46:00.002-04:00

Yeah, the mother of one of my son's friends was telling me that she'd run 12 miles that morning. She told me about stopping for water at Sheetz and another place. And how she'd run early to avoid the heat.

All of the sudden, I began to pine for those days of LSD= Long Slow Distance runs. So I've decided that if my body holds up, I'll start doing longer runs again. Trail, though- not pavement!

I drove to the Cove yesterday and ran. I ran down the paved road (less than 1 mile), then lower Comet, ...Forest (both sides), then Little Bell and Schoolhouse past the Vista Point. It was midday and the heat was up a beat, but not bad. I brought hydration and was feeling good. Oh- and the Deer Flies didn't bug me! That was cool!

I stopped at the trailhead to Schoolhouse to stretch. A woman on a bike was coming out Little Bell.

Woman: "I thought I saw a runner out here!"
Me: "I'll let you go ahead before I get in your way on the trail."
Woman: "That's OK, I'm not taking that trail."

Then I thought: "Dude, I'm standing at a trailhead stretching. Do I look like some crazed forest-stalker in my technical fabric tie-dye and black Nike shorts? If so, that kinda sucks..."

Anyway, at a little over 40 minutes, I turned around on Schoolhouse and headed back.

Felt good the whole way. Strong. Slow runs really allow for distance. I needed to slow down a bit more, but was OK. In the end, I probably ran 9:40's. I'm old and slow, so it should have been 10's. Actually ran 8 miles and had a good walking cool-down.

Afterwards, took Trent and Dolores out to O'Charley's for a huge meal for only 15 bucks for all three! Had a coupon for a free appetizer. The Chip Tower thingy rocked! Then we split one meal: Salad, rolls, steak, chicken fingers, shrimp and smashed potatoes. (Pick 3 meal). It fed us all and the price was major cheap!

Then- across town to Elderberry's for a shared smoothie!

Life is good...

Falling...

2008-06-19T17:06:00.002-04:00

I met with a guy in Lynchburg yesterday. Great conversation and enjoyed the time. We talked for about 2 hours.

On the way back, I hit Falling Creek Park for a trail run. I skipped lunch so I'd have time for this. Unfortunately, as beautiful and well-thought-out as Falling Creek is (paved oval, fitness stations, water available, swingsets and playground equipment), the trails were not designed for runners. The steep camber (angle) of most of the trails played havoc on my knees, back and even feet. I was either pitched sharply right or sharply left as I ran.

Nonetheless, I found the every-present deer flies as soon as began on...Deer Trail! I did run 4.7 miles or so. Ran Fat Albert and Ridge Loop. It was OK. Better than not running, though I AM hurting today.

Woke up this morning to a phone call- Mom had fallen and Dad couldn't get her up. I went over and we did Urgent Care for X-rays rather than ER. ER is just too packed with people. Came home and burned the DVD for Sunday/finished the worship programs and emailed them to Sara (cool program-babe) and then headed back to the Parents to check on the situation. She'd fallen again.

I expect to get calls tonight and tomorrow. I hate that for her. She needs to stay in one place, but she wants a cig every 15 minutes. And she just won't stay seated or use the wheelchair. One of these times, a bone will break. And with her RA and other issues, it'll be forever healing.

So, from Falling Creek Park yesterday to Falling Mom Apartment today, that's what's up.

Peace,
Brian

Araminta...Finally...

2008-06-17T09:38:00.002-04:00

OK, Araminta kicked said Baldman's tail last week. So, Monday is a day off right now. I rode the road bike early in the morning Sunday AM before church. Quads were a little sore on Monday (yesterday). But I packed-up and pointed the truck towards the Cove. Took my bike down the road to where the lower trails begin. Got off, changed shoes, took off my helmet and backpack and locked everything up to a signpost.

Then I ran 3.5 miles. It was hot and I was a bit tired, but I got on the bike and left my running shoes locked up to the sign. And I rode. Lower Comet to Tuk-a-Way. Then on up Kerncliff (steeper than steep). Saw a sand-colored snake on Kerncliff and almost wrecked at the same time, falling into him. That would have vacuumed.

Anyway, finally road Araminta, then took Hemlock, then down Tuk and back to car. A few fun detours and I had a 2.5 hour ride total. 3 hours at the Cove! In the heat.

Today- I rest and work. No run. No bike. No swim. No energy!

Araminta...Almost!!!

2008-06-13T11:58:00.002-04:00

I wanted to ride Thursday night with the crew. But...I made a couple of huge mistakes that really cost me.

First- I ran Hi-Dee-Ho on Wednesday in the blazing sun. Burned-up. Ran from Hi-Dee to Jacob's Drop (mostly uphill), then down the Drop (downhills are tough on quads and knees), then Tuk-a-Way and various other trails. By the time I finished, I was drained and couldn't hardly think how to put my key in the car door.

Second- I got up early Thursday to work so I'd have time to go to the pool with my son. I swam laps at the pool, then laid out a bit. The swimming was triathlon training. It wasn't an easy swim. By the time I left the pool, I was way past drained.

So, what does a stupid bald man do for an encore? That's right, kiddies! He goes for a bike ride with the cool kids who ride fast in the raging heat and humidity. Momma says, "Stupid is as stupid does." I'm not a smart ma-an.

We started with 4G. I could tell I had very little juice in my quads. Then we pointed downhill and took lower Comet to Tuk, then Tuk up. By now I was breathing hard and sweating bullets. From Tuk, we headed towards upper Comet, then hit the most steep fire road I've ever seen (must be Kerncliff!).

I'd already lost the group. Or- they lost me. Now I didn't know where to go. So I just kept going. Finished going up and then came down steeply again. Came to a log and a little trail. Thought I'd take it. But it was getting dark and no one was around. After 5 minutes on the trail, I decided I was lost and the only way to ensure not being lost at the Cove in the dark was to do the unthinkable!

I went back up the steeper-than-steep fire road. I retraced all my steps, went down Tuk, took lower Comet and made it back to the parking lot. My peeps were all there. Changed into street-clothes and looking like they were doing just fine.

I pulled up- "Well, you didn't get eaten by a bear!" I apologized for keeping them waiting. They thought I might be upset that they didn't wait much for me. I wasn't. I just hate putting people out.

They're a cool crew. But I need more time to ride if I'm gonna hang with them. I'm only riding about once per week most weeks. Oh well, Araminta some other time. Maybe Monday. I need my old riding partner back. He made me ride. But the sucker went and started a successful business. Maybe I should pray it fails? :-)

Later On,
Brian

Iron Man Rocks...

2008-06-10T11:43:00.001-04:00

Took a day away yesterday. Ran the greenway in the heat, saw Iron Man at the theater by myself and then watched my son's baseball game. Iron Man rocks! Loved it...

Can't wait for a sequel!

I love nature...I just hate the animals and bugs and insects and...

2008-06-06T16:16:00.002-04:00

Up early for some work, then over to parent's place to help mom get to the doc. Long visit at doc. Brought my stuff to run Explore Park. Wanted to ride, but time was short, so I didn't prep for it.

I had wanted to ride with the hella-fast Thursday night crew, but my son had a baseball game. Priorities, man, priorities. Once you get rid of those, you're free!!!! (OK, OK, I did the right think and watched my son play as the team once again won for an undefeated season with only one game left!)

It's 1 PM again, hot. I changed in the restroom at Explore Park. Put on a bandana to protect against the deer flies. And I ran. Only I was really feeling the heat today. Ran the Intermediate and did the Outer Loop before running the River Trail back to pavement and up to the car.

The deer flies were buzzing as soon as the sweat began to pour off me. But they weren't landing, which was cool. But once I hit the outer loop, I felt a sharp pain in my head and slapped it hard. Sure enough, huge dead fly at my feet. Sucker ate through my bandana.

Continued to run, making most of the hills without stopping. But one switchback is really tough, very steep. I came to a stop, breathing hard. I leaned down, hands on my knees, gasping for breath. Just then, sharp pain behind my shoulder. Another slap, another dead fly.

And then...I heard a sound like machinery rattling. Looking over and there it was, not 6 feet from me- a black snake coiling in anger. Yeah, I continued running.

The river trail is the easiest for getting back to the car, but it's also the suckiest in the heat. Tons of flying-biting critters with no mercy. I was bitten in the leg several times and once in the hip. And, after having seen a snake, I was watching the trail closely. But parts of it are covered in fairly high grass.

I finished, changed into street clothes since my running gear was soaking wet. Headed home for work. I'd love to sleep, but too much to do and I need to be at someone's house in a bit. Oh well...

Deer Fly Flight of the Bald Singletrack Runner...

2008-06-04T22:06:00.002-04:00

Or...How to Keep a Bald Man Running in the Heat...

Explore Park, 1 AM. Very hot, humid. I'm sweating just stepping outside my car. I take the Intermediate Trail at Explore Park. I'm sweating buckets by the time I reach the top of the first real hill, at the cut-off for the Endurance Loop. I tried the loop once before and hated it. But I've forgotten why. I need to be reminded.

So I take the Endurance Loop. And then, about 3 minutes in, it comes to me. The trail is sharply cambered from right to left. My left foot is landing lower than my right, and at an angle. Tough on the knees, tough on the lower back. And the trail is narrow in places, just plain hard to run.

I'm hitting hills and sweating buckets. I finish the loop and try to decide what to do from here. I'm tired, I'm feeling like walking away and finding the car. But I take the Outer Loop to the Expert Trail and run it to the river, then take the river back to the road and back to the car, feeling like I want to walk. Tired, overheated, sweating so much that 4 pounds are lost during the course of this run (weighed before I left and after I got back home).

But I kept running. Couldn't stop. Why? Great question- thanks for asking!

Deer flies. I could feel them hitting my bald head, trying to land. But I was so sweaty that they couldn't stay on me as I ran. When I walked, however, they landed. And if you don't know what deer flies do, look it up- it's nasty. They don't sting- they literally tear open the skin using sharp teeth and suck blood out of the host, while depositing some really ugly bacteria that can cause all sorts of problems.

So- bald man be running!

Finished the run, put the plastic seatcover over my leather seat and headed home. Got out of the car at home and had a pool of water in my seat to try and carefully lift out without spilling.

I want to ride with the Thursday group tomorrow night, but I first gotta see if I've recovered from the run today. Oh- temps gonna be in the 90's for the rest of the week! What up wit dat????

Planet Fitness...

2008-06-03T13:06:00.002-04:00

A new gym is coming to Roanoke. To Towers Mall, to be exact.

It's called Planet Fitness and the price is right- 19.99/month. Great weights and aerobic machines, treadmills, etc. They call it...get this!..."The Judgment-Free Zone." Brahahahahahahahahahaha
hahahaahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaaha.

That's the sound of me laughing uproariously. This is the gym that evicts members and cancels memberships if people grunt while lifting weights. I swear, I'm not making this up! <----click the link, dude!

They even have lights that flash and alarms that go off if you grunt or drop some weights. "The Judgment-Free Zone"????? One of the funniest bits of irony I've ever heard. Saddest part is, I'd like to join the club- it's cheap. I told my wife. She said, "You can't join. You make all sorts of noises." I said, "Yeah, but I won't be eating Buffalo Wings before I go!" I think she was talking about a different set of noises.

And yeah, I grunt, I scrunch my face, I gasp for breath. Wings can be tough on you the next day. I do the same kinda thing when I go to the gym.

Oh well...

ONE PRAYER begins this Sunday at church. I'm friggin' excited! We get to join with over 3/4 of a million people world-wide in praying and seeking God. How cool!