Chaos and Sovereignty

So there I was, innocent enough. I had stopped running. I had begun to come to terms with it. I bought a motorcycle (no small feat considering my wife's vehement opposition. Yet I persevered and convinced her...somewhat). I had lain awake at night dreaming of Biker Church. Couldn't get it out of my head. I KNEW it was from God. No doubt.

So I talked to 2 leaders at Layman. They agreed to help launch and lead Biker Church. From the beginning, there was opposition from the Enemy. Just stupid stuff like people who wouldn't attend because someone else was there who had been divorced from one of their friends. Emotional issues hit me every week before the service. Temptations to lust were very strong during these times as well. Clearly the Enemy was working hard to destroy what God wanted to build.

Yet we began to see God's hand very clearly. Couples who were living together repented and got married. People came to Christ and those who had given up on church found a home at Biker Church. We rode together, hung together, enjoyed time fellowshiping. It was...incredible.

Then it began. One of our leaders made some comments an attender took issue with. During a prayer meeting, I felt strongly impressed to say that I believed the Enemy would try to split us up. We agreed to stay humble, focused on Christ and prayerful.

Several weeks later, issues came to the fore in the form of band trouble. Disagreements on style and type of music. A band that had just come off a great time of leading 2 services felt demoralized by band leadership. We could argue if they should have or not. But the point is, they did. I held a meeting with the leadership and band together without going to the leadership first.

That was it. Our leadership left. Oh, I apologized- very quickly and quite profusely. But now I'm the remaining leader. Another guy has threatened to leave over conflicts in the band, but it looks like that is being worked out. And I've brought in a pastoral advisory team so that there's an accountability for me.

In the end, the Enemy won. But...did he? The band sounds incredible. They feel great freedom and have the ability to grow into the role. This is...opportunity. The leaders who left are amazing people. I've had the privilege of working alongside them for quite some time and have been enriched by the experienced. But one guy and his wife had already been thinking of leaving for a church more tied to the denomination he comes from. And that's OK. The other guy is still hanging out occasionally. I'm praying for God to guide him. He's a terrific guy- I'll miss him if he leaves.

But in the midst of chaos, I cling to the Truth: none of this took God by surprise. And none of it is irredeemable by his grace and power. The couple who left probably needed the break. Pastoral leadership may not be the calling of the other guy. His calling is probably more involved with influencing towards Christ and towards involvement in Christ's church. And there's an excitement in the sadness. God is at work.

When God begins to do something mighty, he often changes the playing field to facilitate the change. I'm praying. I'm praising. I'm missing my friends. But I love my faith. And I thank God for giving it to me. The leash on the Enemy only goes as far the Lord allows. And even fleshly behavior can work for God's glory in the long-run as his people repent, pray and seek.

So I'm excited. Jazzed, even. Who knows what God might want to do. Lord help anyone who would try to divide, cause discouragement or spread dissension in God's people. I've read the bible- God hates that stuff. God's at work. I'm on board. Let's see where this train takes us...